What Drives You Is Pain

Chapter 2

I rode my bike home from the therapy building, because it was only about 2 miles away.

When I rode up in my driveway the gravel crunched under my weight.I jumped off the bike and sent it flying a few feet to the side. Mom would always tell me that if I kept jumping off the bike before it stopped rolling I would eventually get hurt, but the truth is I don't care about pain. I care about death more then anything it fascinates me. I've lusted the peace that settles over you as you die ever since the accident. That fateful day changed my life forever and more importantly it changed my outlook on everything.

I walked up to the front door and unlocked it but before I could make it inside I was met by a husky man voice saying "Hey, Eugene, haven't seen you for awhile."

I turned to see the one and only Mr.Kay, an elderly kind man that would bake me cookie when I was young. "Hello, sir." I finally said.

Mr.Kay then said,"Would you like to come over and help me bake and eat cookies, Eugene?" I really didn't, for I had gotten my share of people today. However this man played the part of the father I never had as I grew up. My father died before I was born, thanks to his drug-deal gone wrong I never had a fatherly image until Mr.Kay came along.

"Yes, sir, that would be great." I finally said as I plastered on my best happy smile and walked over to his house. As I walked up the porch stairs my feet dragged along the cement making a satisfying scratch.

Mr.Kay held the door open as I walked over the threshold into the warm house. He shut the front door behind me and ushered me into the kitchen to start his famous cookies named 'Rosie Cookies'. Although I never knew why he called them that he would only say 'its a secret' if I asked him.

"Ready?" Mr.Kay asked. I was ready as ever to make these cookies but never would I have known that I would laugh so much and have so much fun.

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When I finally got home I opened the front door (which I forgot to lock, whoops) and walked in holding a bag of fresh baked Rosie Cookies. I sat the cookies on the counter and went to my room. You have to walk by my mom's room to get to mine and I looked into it even though I knew she wasn't going to be there. My mom was never home, always at work. I didn't even know her anymore all my memories of her faded away over time.

I walked into my room and sat down on my bed and began to write in the notebook that Lauren gave me.

What is death? Many don't know what death is they eventually come up with their own twisted ideas of what it really is. They think that death consists of pain and tears, but I know what death feels like and that is a sense if peace that has taken over you. Of course people would say that you could not feel death unless you have actually died. They would accuse me of being misleading because I had not died I had only teetered on it. If you really wanted to be correct though I had died or at least I had been in the process of it and I lust it more than anything else. I wanted death and I would find death again hopefully soon, either by my doing or another's I would be happy either way.

Death here I come!

My hand hurt from writing so I sat the pencil in the notebook and sat it on my bed side table so it could sit and watch over me. I turned out my bedside lamp and laid down. As fast as I had laid down I was asleep.

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A/N

I would like to give recognition and thanks to my dear friend, Hayley, for editing my chapters.

As always so feedback is appreciated
Thanks.

~❤