brutal | grayson hawthorne

now what

***
Keep Driving by Harry Styles
***

The next time Liz saw Grayson after finding out that he was a total asshole who didn't know how feelings worked was when she was walking out of her Hawthorne House room that night, a duffle bag of her things in tow, ready to accept that she'd rather be stranded on a desert island with her mother who didn't even look at her than stay in a room less than thirty feet away from Satan himself.

"Where are you going?" Grayson's voice is soft, softer than it had been towards Liz since that night in the wine cellar.

She almost allows herself to fall at the sound, and if not that then the way he stands absolutely defeated at his door, droplets of mud in his hair and his suit, his hands covered in dirt.

"Did you wrestle a pig?" She knows if she's lets herself be vulnerable around him right now, she'd do something she'd regret.

"Jameson. So, yes."

She smiles. The Hawthorne brothers could be on their deathbeds and still find a way to insult one another.

"Eve told me you kissed her," she has to take the offensive before she finds herself offering to clean all that mud off of him.

"What?" Grayson looks as though he'd never heard the name before understanding settles in his features. "Well, after she kissed me," he then waves off. "Does that matter to you?"

Their eyes have suddenly met, and it takes everything in Liz not to point out that with the look he's giving her, it looks like he wants it to matter to her.

Liz thinks about the conversation she'd had with Eve. She made it seem like Grayson was head-over-heels for her and she couldn't care less.

"Of course not," Liz says, knowing all too well that Grayson can see right through her. "I just figured after you told me that we couldn't be together-"

"Her and I aren't together," Grayson interrupts before Liz can ruin the Pretending Contest for the both of them. "We just kissed once. And I told her we couldn't go farther than that."

"You told her?" Liz realizes her stories aren't lining up now. "She said she turned you down."

"When did you talk to her?"

"When you went to see your mother," and Liz realizes that opens up something else entirely in Grayson. "How was that, anyway?"

She realizes she genuinely doesn't care about Eve. Only Grayson. And she doesn't think she'll ever stop caring about Grayson, so the least she can do is stop making both of their lives miserable by repeatedly calling him a slut in her mind.

"I don't want you to go," is his answer, and Liz realizes that's probably the best she's going to get given their circumstances.

"You're the one who pushed me away," she didn't go into this conversation ready to confront the things they both had been pushing down for weeks now, but now that she has him here, she's worried to let him go.

"But you know why I did it."

"I can't lean on you for the rest of our lives, Lizzy. I can't let you hold me up when I'm too weak to stand."

"You are not weak, Gray" Liz breathes, hating how out of control she feels in this conversation. "And I can carry your weight."

"You shouldn't have to," he knows she's ignoring his analogies on purpose. "I don't want you to."

"So, that's it? This past year- our entire lives before that - it's just nothing to you?"

"It's everything to me, Lizzy, that's the problem. I can't go away to college and only think about how much I need you."

"No."

"No?"

"You're not breaking up with me."

"Lizzy-"

"And don't 'Lizzy' me, Grayson Hawthorne. If you are too much of a coward to acknowledge that you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, then what makes you think you have the right to dump me?" But her voice is shaky, and she can already feel him slipping out of her blurry vision.

"You don't get to choose when you want me," she will not be dragged onto this emotional rollercoaster again.

"I miss you," he has a habit of saying things that don't directly correlate with what she said, but she can understand every aspect of his words nonetheless.

"Then, why are you kissing other girls?" Liz lets her voice take a lighter tone again as she realizes she wouldn't be totally opposed to staying one more night in away from her dumpster fire of a home.

"Rebounds," he shrugs and smiles a bit as Liz lets out a laugh.

"D'you wanna go for a swim?" She hates and loves the magnetic pull she has to Grayson at any given moment.

"I'll meet you down there."

***

While Liz was in pool, waiting for Grayson, Eve came out and saw her floating on her back in the water, staring at the starry sky.

Liz wouldn't have noticed her presence had the water not splashed as Eve dove in, too light for it to be Grayson starting his routine laps.

Liz straightens up to see Eve already staring at her.

She never got to the bottom of what really happened between her and Grayson, but she doesn't really care to find out because the way Eve is staring at her makes her feels like she's seconds away from being drowned by her hand.

"Hi," Liz greets, slowly inching towards the edge of the pool without making any sudden movements.

"I know what you think of me," Eve's voice is sharper, the usual stress, worry, and concern for Toby no longer lacing her tone like it usually does.

"What?" Liz is confused.

"Just because you're jealous-" Eve doesn't get to finish her sentence - luckily for her because now Liz look like she wanted to drown someone - the motion sensor light turns on and Grayson appears at the edge of the pool, shirtless, immediately diving in.

He comes up for air and Liz watches Eve's face immediately shift into the sweet, innocent, please-help-me-I'm-just-a-girl look.

Liz almost scoffs.

"Hi, Gray," Eve greets, and Liz mimes throwing up while she's not looking. No. Not jealous. Not caring.

"Evie," Grayson nods, and this time Liz has a bit of a more difficult time ignoring the pit in her stomach.

She officially didn't trust this Eve girl, so instead of over analyzing Grayson's every move around her, she looks at the Emily look-a-like instead.

And more than just appearance-wise, Liz can see similarities in Eve and Emily's mannerisms too.

Especially when talking to Grayson.

They both knew the effect they had on him.

a/n:
idk like liz just feels like she has more self control than she actually does and I can't blame her because if i were within 10 ft of grayson hawthorne i would also forgive the fact that he would hate me yk anyway tolerate it imo