brutal | grayson hawthorne

mhm

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Glue Song (ft. Clairo) - beabadoobee
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Liz was bedridden while everyone else decided what they were going to do about Toby and this Vincent Blake guy.

They all came to see her individually, all having to make some comment about the fact that she was in Grayson's bed - despite the fact that he hadn't come to see her in 12 hours and 54 minutes since he apologized for trusting Eve and not the fact that he told Liz he couldn't love her and he couldn't even handle the mere thought of it.

Max's mother, Dr. Liu, who came to take care of Avery when she was hospitalized in Hawthorne House, had taken care of Liz. She explained how the bullet just grazed the skin by her shoulder, but she shouldn't make any sudden movements in caution of ripping her stitches or getting brain damage because of the concussion she'd gotten when her head hit the floor.

"You're lucky that boy came in when he did to help you," she says as she hands Liz a morphine pill and a glass of water.

"What boy?" Liz is sure that even if Dr. Liu isn't caught up on everything going on, she at least has the basics of what got Liz in this situation in the first place.

"How is she?" Grayson walks in, him and Liz seeing each other for the first time in almost 13 hours. Not that she was counting.

"She'll be fine," Dr. Liu straightens from where she was leaning over Liz to adjust her arm sling. "I'll be back in 30 minutes."

Grayson stays standing in the same spot, a couple feet in from the door, staring at the ground as the door shuts behind Dr. Liu and Liz can hear a clicking noise.

"They said this is what we have to do to make up for being late to Xander's 911," Grayson stares at the ground as he speaks.

"What?" Liz knows she's concussed, but that sentence definitely didn't make any sense.

Grayson shakes his head like he just realized Liz isn't a mind reader. "We have to stay in the room until we're not fighting anymore."

"Oh," Liz sees. She painstakingly moves over so she's on one side of the bed. "Have a seat, then."

He looks up at this, but now Liz is staring straight ahead at his bookshelf.

He kicks his shoes off and sits down under the blankets, him and Liz both just staring ahead.

"You saved me," she says after a moment of the only sounds in the room being their synced breathing.

You couldn't save Emily, and you hated yourself for it ever since. But you saved me.

"I thought I'd lost you," he says, and Liz sees why couldn't be the first to speak. His voice was drowning in emotion, and even if she was still a little mad at him, she wishes she could just hold him for the rest of their lives.

"You can't get rid of me that easily," she turns her head to smile at him, but he's still looking seriously at the wall.

"21 questions."

They used to play religiously when they were younger. What's the weirdest dream you've ever had? Who's your celebrity crush? And once they've exhausted all the basic questions: what's your worst memory? What's your deepest fear?

They must've stopped ages ago when they realized they knew everything there was to know about the other. But a lot has passed between them now that Liz is grateful for this opening.

"Why do you feel like Emily's death was your fault?" She feels like she has to start with what's caused all this trouble in the first place.

"I think I've been raised to take responsibility for everything," he says, far too deeply for Liz to ignore the lump in her throat, but as per the rules of the game, he wouldn't elaborate more. "Why did you go home the other night?"

"I didn't think you wanted me here. Did you get the USB I found in the wine cellar?"

"It's in my desk drawer," he makes no move to grab it. "Why do you still think you owe it to the old man to play his games? After what he did to your father?" Grayson says next, knowing Liz better than she knows herself sometimes.

"He took my family away from me," she says after thinking for a moment, "but he gave me a new one in you and your brothers."

"He would be so disappointed in how I've pushed you away."

"What happened to you when we were in the wine cellar? Over the summer, I mean," she realizes she should ask. "What made you say all that?"

"You and Emily have the same favorite flower," Grayson says slowly, like he's testing out speaking for the first time. "I don't why it took me so long to find out what your favorite flower is, but we had gone to the gardens that morning, and you pointed out the poppies, and all of the sudden, I felt too much at once, and I didn't know how to turn it off."

Liz turns her head, so she's truly giving Grayson her full attention. The way he tightens his jaw. Narrows his eyes as he gets lost in his mind.

"And I thought about how different everything would be if Emily were still alive. And even if I didn't really love her, I still should've saved her. I was there. I was right there."

Grayson then just shakes his head.

"I should've never let the two of us get so close in the first place, and by the time I really thought about it, it was too late to push you away without being an asshole."

"The timing didn't really matter. You would've been an asshole no matter when."

"Why do you want me?" Grayson asks as his question. "Knowing that I'm-"

"If you say you're broken or not good enough or anything self-deprecating along those lines I will pull my own stitches to punch you in the face," Liz interrupts, but she's turned back to the bookshelves now, so she can't see Grayson's slight smile.

"And I don't know," she answers. "I don't know why I keep trying when all you do is make me upset, and call me a hopeless romantic, but I feel like, maybe, we're the only two who can really help each other, y'know? Say what you want, but you have some very self-destructive tendencies-"

"And you don't?" Liz almost smiles at Grayson's snarky tone as he turns to look at her.

"And I do too," she says, pretending to ignore his eyes. As if. "And we'd probably have driven ourselves crazy by now if we didn't have each other," she explains herself.

Neither of them say anything, Liz hoping her words had enough "I still love you" in them, Grayson seemingly trying to find the meaning of life in her side profile.

"Your turn," is all he says,

"Why did you say love makes people weak?" Liz decides to take a more head-on approach.

"I was wrong," Liz doesn't think she's ever heard those words come out of his mouth before. "I mistook the vulnerability I feel when I'm with you for weakness. I didn't realize you are what makes me strong."

Liz doesn't know what to say to that. Was that Grayson Hawthorne for "I still love you too?"

"Will you punch me in the face if I say that I take full responsibility for messing up what we had?" Is what he asks as she now turns to stare directly at him.

"You're lucky I'm scared of Dr. Liu," is her answer, both knowing she wouldn't let him feel like he has to take full responsibility for anything ever again.

Liz feels the air shift. Lighten. And she turns her waist towards him now too. Air molecules away from kissing him. "A do-over?"

"A do-over," Grayson tilts his head down. "And I never really liked Eve. She doesn't know how to read cursive."

Liz laughs at Grayson's words as he grins down at her.

"I'm going to kiss you now," she announces, using her able arm to pull his head down to hers.

"I'm never letting you go again," he whispers against her lips as he puts a hand on her cheek.

a/n:
ahhhhhhh invisible string