brutal | grayson hawthorne

flashback (in a film reel)

***
Paul Revere by Noah Kahan
***

Liz is well aware of how silly her and Grayson look dripping through Hawthorne House to get to the theater.

Grayson is a little better off, since he had a spare set of clothes when he came out to the pool, and Liz too had her dry clothes to wear, but her dripping hair didn't do her any favors as she's sure it's all tangled by now too.

"Leave it to Gray to mess up a good thing like that," she's sure she hears Jameson say just as her and Grayson walk through the door where the rest of the Hawthornes and Avery and Libby have already set up microphones and speakers and things.

"Y'all are talking shit about Grayson without me?" Liz greets the group as her and Grayson walk side by side to the stage where they're all gathered around.

"You two were together," Xander says, clearly referencing a part of the conversation that they'd missed.

"She was drowning," Grayson explains.

"You just wanted an excuse to get close to me," Liz says in response.

"I rebuke you."

"Your turn," Xander holds out two microphones to the two of them before Liz can punch Grayson.

"Oh, Xan, I'm on vocal rest," Liz tries saying emphatically so she doesn't have to do this.

"Tradition is tradition, and you've already hurt my feelings by being late."

And how is Liz suppose to say no to that?

She grabs the microphone, Grayson silently doing the same thing with his, them both huffing dramatically as they sit at the edge of the stage, and Xander starts playing "Summer Nights" from the Grease Soundtrack.

***

Liz is back in the wine cellar.

Grayson Hawthorne looks like art.

His shoulder are even, his neck straight, though his head and eyes are cast down. A crystal glass sits on the table in front of him. His hands lay on either side of the glass, muscles in them tensed, like he might push off at any moment.

"You shouldn't be here," Grayson doesn't pull his eyes from the glass, or the amber liquid he's been drinking.

"And you can tell me what I should and shouldn't do?" Liz says not taking in the seriousness of this interaction yet. "Are you upset? Has someone upset you?"

"I don't upset easily," Grayson snaps, and Liz gets the feeling this is not good.

She walks up to him, kneeling down by his side.

"For weeks, I hallucinated Emily's voice," he starts immediately. If there's anyone he has to say this to, it's Liz. "For weeks, she whispered to me. Why else do you think I couldn't even look at you?"

"It was hard," Liz takes his head her hands, forcing him to look down at her. "It's hard to lose someone."

"I failed her, and she will haunt me until the day I die," Grayson's eyes close. "I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I wanted to be stronger than this. For you." Liz is nearly undone. "But I can't. I can't lean on you for the rest of our lives, Lizzy. I can't let you hold me up when I'm too weak to stand."

"You are not weak, Gray" Liz breathes, hating how out of control she feels in this conversation. "And I can carry your weight."

"You shouldn't have to," he knows she's ignoring his analogies on purpose. "I don't want you to."

"So, that's it? This past year- our entire lives before that - it's just nothing to you?"

"It's everything to me, Lizzy, that's the problem. I can't go away to college and only think about how much I need you."

"No."

"No?"

"You are not breaking up with me."

"Lizzy-"

"And don't 'Lizzy' me, Grayson Hawthorne. If you are too much of a coward to acknowledge that you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, then what makes you think you have the right to dump me?" But her voice is shaky, and she can already feel him slipping out of her blurry vision.

"You need someone who's good for you."

"He didn't think he was good for us," is what Liz's mother said to her last night about her father.

But Liz doesn't want to think about that. She wants to find where this key will go.

Grayson has left, and Liz has fallen to the floor, her back gently against shelves of wine bottles that if she puts too much weight on will shatter upon hitting the floor.

She settles for leaning forward into herself instead, wishing she knew what to do to make Grayson not be like this.

Her eyes settle on the wall beside her, and if she weren't so caught up in her thoughts, she would've been more curious about the key hole.

She finds the spot again easily and hates that for a moment she wishes Grayson were here with her. Someone to share this with.

She pushes through, not wanting to dwell on her thoughts too much, only partly surprised when the key allows a small opening in the wall to pop out like a door, just big enough for Liz to put her hand through and find another USB.

"What did you find?" Liz easily slides it up her sleeve as she turns in surprise at Eve's voice.

a/n:
this is me trying bc that inspired the chapter title also foreshadowing