brutal | grayson hawthorne

cool cool cool cool

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The Adults Are Talking by The Strokes
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Liz doesn't really see why the Hawthorne House pool is heated, because every nerve in her body is already on fire just from looking at Grayson swim laps in the moonlit water.

Swimming has always been his go-to coping mechanism from when they were kids and he was sad about taking too long on a thousand piece puzzle, to high school when he was sad about taking too long on a different thousand piece puzzle.

Sometimes Liz would be right beside him as they swam the length of the olympic-sized swimming pool, but most of the time she would take one of the water guns that were always messily lying around and shoot him with streams of water every time he came up for air.

But tonight feels too different from their usual late nights with the way Grayson hasn't said a full sentence since their earlier discovery of the man who must be his father.

Liz can't remember a time she's ever seen Grayson give two thoughts to the identity of his father, but maybe it is the idea of the information being forced on him that's got him like this.

He probably would've been fine with brushing it off as a coincidence, but too many things started lining up and the way Jameson and Avery kept looking at him like they needed to say something at the dinner table definitely pushed him over the edge.

So Liz has been floating on her back, staring up at the stars, wishing she was the kind of person who knew what to say when the guy she makes out with every now and then but isn't really dating but both know they like each other is upset because he spent his whole life not knowing or caring who his father was and then finds out who he is while solving the mystery of where his long lost uncle disappeared to after faking his death.

She notices the splashing of the water than signaled where Grayson was in the pool stopped, and Liz straightened up to see him with his head bent over in his arms as he leans against the edge of the pool, water droplets sliding down the crevices of his muscles, and Liz knows now isn't the time to be thinking about running her hands down his back, but she finds herself moving towards him anyway, taking post right beside him with her arms crossed over the other over the edge of the pool, resting her head on them so she's faced towards Grayson.

"We have to go see him," she knows she doesn't have to provide any context to her statement, but the way Grayson turns his head to her makes her feel like he's not going to say anything in response. "It's another clue," her voice is way too soft, like she's scared of saying the wrong thing in the wrong tone.

"I know," his eyes are on her, but she's not sure he's totally looking at her.

"How are you feeling?" Maybe she should've started with that.

"I don't really know," is the most un-Grayson thing that he could've said. "I don't feel anything if it's just part of the game, y'know?"

And as much as Liz loves seeing the side of him that isn't the robot that uses big words around other people, she hates to see him practically fall apart about this.

"You're allowed to be upset," she puts a hand on his bare shoulder, but doesn't really know where to go from there.

"There's no way the old man didn't know," is his response, and Liz sees another part of all this that's eating him alive.

"Maybe he just didn't think it was important for you to know?" She tries comforting but has a feeling she's doing it totally wrong. "Like, you didn't need the rando who was your father in order to be awesome and successful like you are, y'know?"

Grayson lets out a soft laugh at her terrible attempt at making him feel better, and Liz is just glad she got the smallest of smiles out of him.

"You already know," Jameson greets as he walks out to the pool area, Avery behind him, Liz and Grayson having to turn their heads to make eye contact with their intruders.

Liz immediately can tell what Jameson is talking about just easily as she's sure he came to his conclusion with the way Liz and Grayson are around each other with a somber air, and Grayson isn't his usual, sharp self.

"We were coming out here to tell you," Avery says, needing to explain herself.

"We're leaving tomorrow," Jameson says directly, well aware that Grayson needs to do this, either for the game or not. "All the details figured out. We ride at dawn," he walks out where he came from with a grin, knowing Liz and Grayson need their moment more now that he does, Avery right behind him.

"You're coming, right?" Grayson asks right before Liz was going to question if he wanted her there or not. "You should," he stares more intensely at her than he'd had all day.

"Then, I will," she answers easily, her hand still on his back, their heads moving closer to the other's.

It's in their moments like these where Liz can truly appreciate the guy the in front of her.

The redness around eyes either from the pool water that clings to his eyelashes, his feelings getting the best of him as he got lost in his thoughts, or both.

His eyes seem to change color every time she sees him; sometimes they're dark like the rest of his demeanor when he's being too serious about something. Other times they're so light she feels like she could stare right through them.

His nose is sharp, his cheekbones sharper, and it's a shame he doesn't realize how many people would die to have a Cupid's Bow on their lips like he does.

Every aspect of his face is illuminated in the light, and Liz isn't sure if it's the stars reflecting in his eyes that make him look like that or if he genuinely just is luminescent.

His blonde hair gets slightly darker with the water, and she just wants to push it out of his face so she doesn't keep getting distracted by the water droplets that drip from the ends and run down the sides of his head before getting lost under that knife-sharp jawline.

She wonders if he's taking her in the same way, his eyes raking down every feature on her face and wondering why it's taken them their whole lives to realize they've always looked at each other like that.

a/n:
lover by taylor swift bc if liz were going to the eras tour she would def wear one of those puffy dresses with pink cowboy boots and a heart around her eye