A funeral march for the passing of gods - Shadow And Bone- Nikolai Lantsov/OC

They've made a fool of themselves with their hope

They made a fool of death with their touches, a fool of themselves with their hope. Tamar would come about, embarrassed, asking Nikolai to come fulfill his duty, order the soldiers into submission, be a king instead of an enamored boy, putting, momentarily, his heart into the one of a girl that could easily crash it. Athena would look at him then, into his eyes that betrayed sorrow at the choice he must make. She would give him the luxury of not having to choose at all.

„Go, Nikolai." She would command, not meeting his eyes, knowing in her heart such moments of recognition were not allowed for them. She might yearn for his heart, might need it to survive the sorrows of the world, but she would cut her own hands before reaching for it. She would not allow herself to want the unattainable. She would not allow herself to love a king, beloved by thousands, destined to rule and live for a country.

She would see him departing, see the shape of his movements the way his muscles contracted underneath the fabric, all the twist and turns she couldn't sense anymore. She would look into her own heart and recognize wanting, recognize weakness above anything else. Nikolai was a casualty of her heart, another thing for it to lose. She couldn't allow it, couldn't face the possibility of lying beside another man that she loved, having to mourn him.

Yuyeh sesh. She was the coldest of snow, the most unbendable of metals, she was steel wielded with poise, ice-cold grace. She closed Ivan eyes with hands she willed into submission, she dusted his beautiful kefka, his check covered in blood, trying to forget the wounds painting his chest, trying to be a general, not a friend in morning, not a girl that lost everything. She would take his hand, squeeze it three times and let it go.

She would take it upon herself to carry him to the camp, to be the one taking him home. With tired limbs, with sore muscles, with the aftermath of almost death lingering in her bones, she would clutch onto the weight of her best friend and bring him home. Each step would feel heavier, each one a reminder of what she has lost, each one a mockery of her weak heart. But despite it all, she would bring him to safety, to the tents of the fallen, to his last journey.

She would lay him onto a plank of wood, feeling all the pressure of his body stay glued to her shoulders. She would take off her wooden bracelet, an old gift Fedyor made for her and forced it onto Ivan wrist, hoping it would pass for a real shared burial. There were no remains at the Little Palace. The ones that fell that night received nothing for their soul to be granted passage into the making at the heart of the world. Athena would hope that the strings of the universe would not demand such extravagant obligations for the truest of martyrs, for soldiers fallen on deserted land. She hoped Ivan would come to see Fedyor in the afterlife, their souls finally intertwined.

She hoped sacrifice would be enough, despite the greediness of the world. She would make it be enough.

Alina would come from behind, white hair peaking underneath an ugly scarf, and lay a hand on Athena's shoulder. It was both an apology and a form of gracefulness. What words could they share, these two women that lost so much on this day, that put their soul on a platter and somehow survived when others didn't?

" I am sorry." Alina would say, trying desperately to fill the silence that took over Athena, trying to distract herself from the horrors of her best friend lying dead on the ground. This was an apology directed towards the living, an apology for all that Athena had to give in order for the war to be over. Although, most apologies are directed towards death, towards grief, that is, withering love.

" Where do you plan to go?" Athena would ask, averting her eyes from Ivan, trying to leave a life behind, attempting another distraction from the reality she would have to face. After all, they had funerals to organize, coronations to prepare for, the reestablishment of a nation in their hands. And they had no sun summoner to ease their rise to power, to make the nobles and people believe them holy and divine-sent.