The Lost Life of Laraine

Chapter 31

The rest of the meeting went pretty smoothly and another scouting mission was sent out. I was instructed to rest along with Flontina. 

I didn't even bother watching them depart, just lying on my bed - now freshly washed - and stared at the ceiling. I tried not to think about it, but I felt like the blood of that child was still buried under my nails. I wanted to pry them off and just throw them away. 

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts, and with a brief come in, Parter walked in. 

"Hey how are you doing?" He started, pulling up the vanity chair to my bed side, and I started sitting up to talk to him, "Oh don't get up, I just want to talk to you." 

Nodding, I felt like my world was still fuzzy and I was still holding in the urge to throw up. I found myself staring at the ground, unfocused, wondering if I was just tired or numb. 

"I'm really worried about you Lara, and I'm considering removing you from this mission." 

"What?!" My eyes shot to his face and the sensation of butterflies in my stomach replaced my nausea. "Please don't! I can get stronger! And I-" 

He held up his hand to silence me, giving me a firm face but his eyes held kindness, "There is no argument that you are one of our strongest and brightest, but seeing I'm worried how this will affect you long term. No one should have to witness what you've seen out there, the mayhem, and you'll recover quicker if you're home." 

"This is my home," I muttered under my breath, my eyes drifted back to the floor. Unconsciously I touched my chest where my family ring sat on a chain hidden under my shirt. My grandfather said I was a Fortunith, but I still didn't really feel like one. 

"Lara," he took a deep breath, "I cannot force you to leave nor keep you here, but I want you to know what I think. You're 16, basically an adult. Noble girls your age are getting engaged and -" he cut himself off, taking a deep shaky breath like he was furious at the idea of girls like me already getting married. "And you're smart, kind, and beautiful. Don't let some punk tell you otherwise. There are complete fools out there who think they can take advantage of girls like you and you have to just punch them in the face." 

The conversation had drifted completely from the original topic that I was taken completely aback. Were we still talking about me? 

"What?" I questioned, unsure how to respond. It really felt he was hiding something else from me. 

Catching himself, he cleared his throat, "Just think about what I said," he stood, putting the chair back where it originally was, "If you want to go home, I'll organize transportation. Let me know your decision when the scouting team comes back." 

"I will let you know," I nod, getting up to see him out of my room. Of course I'm staying, but I don't think he wants to hear that right now. It seems like he has a lot of things on his mind right now. 

"You're like a daughter to me, Lara," Parter added just as he stood in my doorway, "And I truly worry for you're wellbeing." 

He doesn't know what that means to me. 

I could feel my chest hurt and my eyes begin to water. 

"T-thanks," I stuttered out, trying to hid the tears behind a mask of strength. 

As soon as I closed the door, I could feel my emotions pour out at once. 

My family. 

My friends. 

That village. 

That child. 

My mind swirled with those thoughts. I wasn't used to being caring for me like my team has. Hell, I basically was raised by them in addition to the manor's servants. And that child, those poor poor people. They were each others' family. They were each others' friends. And they are all gone. 

Their lives. 

Their memories. 

Their dreams. 

That child, I felt it. That child wanted to be an adventurer. Like my dream as a child. Except I lived to fulfill that dream. 

I found myself collapsed on the floor, leaning against the door. Gathering up enough strength, I decided a nap would do me some good. But when I walked by my vanity I caught a glimpse of my face. 

My eyes are glowing again.

This time I continued to stare back into my own gaze, like I was drowning in these silver pools of mine. They were large and swirling from my tears. But they were so dark as well, empty even. I was almost hypnotized by my own gaze, almost feeling like my soul was being sucked in. 

Luckily for me another round of knocking snapped me out of my trance, causing me to blink rapidly and when I looked back in the mirror I saw my eyes were back to normal. 

"Yes?" I answered my door, seeing someone I wasn't expecting, "Sephla?" 

"Uh hi," she waved awkwardly, fidgeting with her fingers and bouncing from foot to foot, "Can I come in?" 

"Yeah..." I stepped back awkwardly, suddenly feeling like a nap was very crucial for me right now. But I let her in, and closed the door behind her. "What's up?" 

Taking a deep breath, she suddenly bent over 90 degrees, showing me the top of her head with her arms pinned to her sides. 

"I'm sorry for how I've been treating you!" She basically screamed at me, "I just finally made Harken's team and all he does is brag about you and I was tired of it! Like what was so good about you?!" 

"Uh," I didn't know what to say, but she was talking so fast I don't even know if she knew what she was saying.

"But meeting you in person, you're like so cool and so mature and like everyone has so much respect for you I just wanted to knock you down a peg." 

"It's fine!" I almost screamed at her, not meaning to but she came at the worst possible moment. The need to throw up was back but it felt more like I wanted to scream my guts out rather than toss my guts. "Sephla, really, it's fine! I completely understand what it feels like to be a newbie in a big group. Especially with the Winvestial's? They are intense." 

"Y-yeah," she chuckled breathlessly, "Well," she puffed her chest, "That's all I wanted to say, thanks for listening." 

She brushed past me and basically ran out of the room before I could say anything more. 

This has been a really weird day.