Downton Abbey - The Story of Emma Barrow

Emma's Phase of Defiance (February 1918)

William,

it's so boring here without you. Nobody has time to play with me. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy are busy with Mrs. Bird's soup kitchen. But I'm not supposed to tell anyone, and because I told you, you're not supposed to tell anyone either.

Can you play Black Jack? My grandpa taught me when we visited him. I even won against Daddy yesterday. Mrs. O'Brien said he let me win on purpose, but Anna said that's not true, and Anna doesn't lie.

I'll be six years old soon. I'm already counting the days until my birthday. Do you know what that means? I'm a big girl now and I'm starting school in September! I'm so excited!

Daddy has to work a lot again and have "adult talks" with Mrs. O'Brien. It's not fair. He promised to play with me, but he only finds time for her and not for me.

But I'm allowed to visit my friends at the village square once a week. Mrs. Patmore or Mrs. Hughes take me, and Mr. Moseley brings me back in the evening. That way, I can play for half a day. But it's not the same. It's more fun with you.

When are you coming home? Will you come for my birthday? I invite you. I miss you so much! I want you to carry me piggyback, play the piano, and read. Can't you just come home? You've been away for so long.

Please stay safe.

love,

Emmi

Emma sat on the floor, her shoes in front of her, desperately trying to tie the bows. She had observed other children doing it and now wanted to try it herself. However, her little fingers seemed to lack the dexterity to form the bows.

Thomas stood impatiently beside her, glancing at the clock. Breakfast would be served any moment now, and he had to hurry to report to Dr. Clarkson. "Come on, Emma," he said, slightly annoyed. "We don't have all day. I need to work."

Emma looked up at Thomas and saw the expression of impatience on his face. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she also wanted to learn to tie her shoes by herself. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt the frustration building up inside her.

"I want to do it by myself," Emma mumbled defiantly, sniffling.

Thomas sighed and knelt down beside her. "Emma, I understand that you want to try it on your own. But we really need to hurry now. I'll help you this time, and then you can try it by yourself next time, okay?"

Emma looked at him with big, sad eyes, her lower lip trembling. She didn't want to give up, but she also didn't want her father to tie her shoes for her. "No," she said softly, "I want to do it by myself."

Thomas sighed once again, but he could sense Emma's determination. "Alright," he finally said, smiling gently, "keep trying." He sat down on his bed and watched Emma.

Emma focused and tried to tie the bows. She struggled with the shoelaces, her little fingers trembling with effort. Minutes passed, and Thomas grew increasingly restless. "I'll do it," he decided, jumping up from his spot.

"No!" Emma squealed.

"But you can't do it," Thomas spoke with a hint of anger and impatience.

"But I'm a big girl!"

"Oh really?" Thomas raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Then why can't you tie your shoes if you're supposedly such a big girl?"

Emma felt a lump forming in her throat. She felt hurt by Thomas' words, and her determination slowly faded away. With trembling hands, she reached for the shoelaces once again. She tried to form the bows, but her fingers were still too clumsy, and the knots simply wouldn't hold. Tears welled up in her eyes once more as she felt frustration overwhelming her. Thomas had knelt down by now and, against her will, tied her shoes for her.