Downton Abbey - The Story of Emma Barrow

Grief & Guilt (September 1921)

Why did the door squeak when opening? Why did the old floorboards creak? Quietly, she closed the bedroom door, and at the same moment, the night light illuminated the room. Emma closed her eyes for a brief moment, took a deep breath, before turning to her father. Just like before, he was sitting in bed, this time with the blanket covering him. He hadn't slept, staying awake until her return in the middle of the night.

Emma surveyed his injuries, marring his face. The thought of her father potentially leaving her overwhelmed her, and a wave of fear washed over her.

He tapped the bed beside him. Emma slipped off her boots and moved slowly towards him, sitting on the far edge at the foot of the bed. Nevertheless, Thomas reached for her cheek, gently wiping away the tears with his thumb.

"Would you like to talk?" he asked softly. Emma shook her head with a timid nod.

"Would you like me to hold you?" he continued, opening his arms to show his daughter that she could approach him.

Emma hesitated for a moment before slowly nestling into her father's arms. His strong embrace enveloped her, and she felt safe and secure in his presence. She rested her head against his chest, feeling the soothing rise and fall of his breath, while his heartbeat pulsed in rhythmic intervals.

In this embrace, Emma felt momentarily freed from sorrow. Here in her father's arms, there was only pure love and comfort for a moment. Thomas held her gently, soothingly stroking her back, letting her know that he would always be there for her, no matter what happened. In that moment, embraced by her father's love, Emma felt a little relieved, as if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

They remained silent for a while, only the faint sound of their breaths and the gentle beats of Thomas's heartbeat filling the room. It was a moment of peace and comfort.

A tear escaped, rolling down her cheek. "Can you promise me something?" she whispered.

"What can I promise, my little dwarf?" he asked.

"Never leave me, Daddy You must never leave me!"

Thomas felt a lump in his throat as he heard Emma's desperate plea. His heart clenched as he recognised the pain in her voice. He held her tighter, whispering, "I promise you, little dwarf. I will never leave you."

Emma quietly sobbed into his side, clinging to him as if afraid to let go. At the same time, she tried to cling to the warmth of his body, as if she could hold on to it to keep from falling into the abyss of grief.

Thomas wished nothing more than to give her the security she needed. He wished he could take all her pain and fears upon himself and protect her, but he couldn't. Thomas stroked her back soothingly as he tried to suppress his own worries: "I will always be with you," he reassured, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Minutes passed as they lay there, embraced in the darkness – except for the small night light – of their bedroom. The silence was only interrupted by Emma's quiet sobbing, which gradually slowed and eventually ceased.

As the next morning unfolded, with the sun slowly creeping through the curtains and the first rays of light illuminating the room, Emma remained deeply asleep, enveloped in her father's warm embrace. Thomas lay awake beside her, his gaze resting gently on her peaceful face, tinged with a hint of sadness.

When he heard noises from the hallway, he turned his head towards the door and saw Mrs. Hughes bringing breakfast for him on a tray. Thomas placed his index finger to his lips, signalling Mrs. Hughes to be quiet. Emma had hardly slept during the night, and he didn't want to disturb her.