Fallout: Fury Blood

Chapter 16: It's All Over But The Crying

The landscape ahead was grainy, unfocused, nothingness. It was dust and bone. It was dry and dead. Dead, like his insides. Each step he took was draining, yet he never wanted to stop. Never wanted to stare his demons in the eyes and face them. He knew they would outwit him. Knew they would drag him to his failure. He always knew his enemy.

Why did she do it? Why couldn't she have just followed his order? She should have jumped, and let him choose his fate. Redemption. The fate he had rightfully chosen for himself. It was by his code. But she had chosen his fate for him, forced him to witness her betrayal, to both him and the Brotherhood, a betrayal he had a hand in, and forced him to live with it. She let her selfish reasoning take charge. She was a soldier, she knew the battlefield shed no mercy for the bonds of fellow soldiers. She was supposed to let him die. For the greater good.

His veins were thrumming with blood that burned, head pounding with that familiar companion of a headache that he had yet to banish since it's spawning back on recon. A headache he could deal with, but the inevitable sleepless nights were promising to be his undoing.

Danse was not accustomed to dealing with so much personal conflict. This was all so far out of his comfort zone that he felt in an alien world, cast from his monotonous obligations to the barren environment of his own scourge. With Cutler, it had been different. He had been faced with two simple choices, to end his suffering, or not to. The insult of his existence had outlined his rightful duty. Turning to an intense hatred of the super mutants had allowed him to move on from the loss of a good friend, and he had never looked back. From the moment he joined the Brotherhood, his life had always lead a steadfast example, a paragon of duty and honor, and he had been proud, pure. Now? Now he didn't even know what he was.

No matter how much he tried to blame Kelly, it all eventually circulated back around on him. It seemed he had demeaned Kelly with everything he had, and now there was little left to defend his integrity against himself.

Was all this his fault? Kelly had been through so much, was hurting so much, yet was holding back so much, had he failed in predicting all this from her? She was a strong woman, perhaps the most resilient he had ever encountered, and that was saying a lot amongst the Brotherhood. Coming back from the Institute, learning of her son's fate, and yet keeping herself together enough to continue functioning, was a feat he could only dream of surpassing. Even when she broke down before him, after Maxson's denial, she had quickly collected herself, regained control, and pushed on. No drama, no self-pity, no nonsense; she strived to never become a burden on others. She was the epitome of fortitude. But there was no doubt that she was on a decline. Had he given her state of mind too wide a berth? Had he neglected her, and in doing so, ultimately set her up to commit her betrayal?

Had he just... let it all slide, as Elder Maxson had said of him?

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"Harper is MIA, and was last seen with you. Did I not give you strict instructions to keep her in line and have her report back by morning? Or perhaps you let it slide, as you seem to have an increasing tendency to do with her. Explain yourself, Paladin."

"Elder, I'm afraid you're not going to like what I have to say..."

"Be out with it, Paladin," Elder Maxson issued curtly, impatiently.

"Yes, sir." Danse took a brief moment of respite, then plunged ahead, straightening his stance in trained formality. "I regret to report that Knight Harper went MIA in between the hours of 0200 to 0500 this morning, during her night-watch. I was asleep at the time, and woke to find her gone, without any trace but weak tracks, which I quickly lost due to her skill in stealth." That was an extra lie; Kelly may be quick and silent, but her recklessness in stealth left much to be desired. "Her last trace was just south of the Boston Police Rationing Site."