[✓] id ; choi beomgyu

06

your pov—

i couldn't spend even one second away from beomgyu right now. he fell into a coma and it's all my fault. i guess that's why i couldn't leave his side.

it's the guilt.

i have seen a lot of people come and visit him. sometimes soobin stayed with me here when he's free and of course he's the one that cleans beomgyu and stuff. he brings us food but i don't have any appetite anyway. i feel guilty to eat when beomgyu is there laying on the bed, between life and death and it's all because of me.

both beomgyu's parents live far from here and they came to visit once. they probably know soobin well since they entrusted him to take care of beomgyu. and soobin just lets me stay here by beomgyu's side.

speaking of visitors, i actually never saw beomgyu's girlfriend visit him here.

"soobin.." i called him.

"yeah?"

"do you know why.. beomgyu's girlfriend never came here?" i was actually feeling guilty of the inquiry because WHO AM I TO JUDGE but i've been here for so long and never noticed her.

"about that.. come here i'll show you something." i went and sat down beside him as he showed me his phone screen.

"she.. has a new boyfriend..? what about beomgyu? did she not post about beomgyu before? people are just.. okay with this?" i was feeling so furious. not even a single visit to her.. idk.. ex?? and she already hooked up with some other guy??

"well, technically beomgyu confessed to her but she had a really vague answer. she didn't reject nor accept him. but beomgyu made like a deal to go out with her and stuff until she was sure if she wanted to accept or reject him. and i guess.. we know the answer now."

i felt my eyes tearing up. beomgyu doesn't even deserve this. he's the kindest most sweetest guy. he's a gentleman too. never have i ever seen a red flag on him. how..? why.. is he treated like this?

i could treat him better..

but again, i was the one that made him like this. i don't deserve him at all.

"don't cry.. don't cry.." soobin suddenly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. i can't help but cry more. i cried so hard it's so embarrassing but i couldn't hold it in.

"i know that you love him. you love him so much don't you? that's why you're here, staying by his side even though you could've just leave him to me."

that made me cry more. if soobin was able to see that why not him? why not beomgyu?

"don't worry. he'll wake up and i'll make sure he realizes your feelings, your worth, your sacrifice, everything you did for him. i'll tell him all of them." soobin says as he wiped my tears away while my eyes were fixated on beomgyu, laying still on the bed.

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