Heart Asunder (Dear Dahlia Season 2)

Chapter 13

CONTENT WARNING: Islamophobia, physical violence

Then wait. Right. Dahlia shouldn't have said that. There was no way she was getting out of this alive.

The water whip had soaked her ankle. The alarm bells in Dahlia's mind went off. She began to rub her fingers against the palm of her hand, then thought, get a grip, Dahlia. The inward talk wasn't effective, so she moved her foot this way and that, trying to get rid of the sensation.

The inferni kneeled down in front of her. Dahlia tried to get up, but the heartrender kept her pinned in place.

In the past, Ravka had not been kind to 'those who strayed', and still was not today. Dahlia had been forced to hide her faith from others her entire life, and envied the Sainted, who had not.

Of course Kirigan allows that, Dahlia thought. She resisted the urge to scowl, then said, "this is stupid."

The inferni merely smiled.
"Name?" Dahlia managed as the heartrender twisted her hand.
"Vatra."
That's a stupid name, Dahlia thought. She wanted to give the heartrender a good whack, but she couldn't move.

"You're Muslim," the tidemaker stated.

Dahlia kept herself calm. How did they-

"General Kirigan told us about that heartrender of his. Said she didn't even pray." There was the hint of a smile on her face. Dahlia knew what the tidemaker was thinking: Glorious. It was an achievement to them, to force a girl to turn away from her faith by pushing fear into her heart.

"Why?" Dahlia managed. She squeezed her eyes shut as the pain increased. The inferni didn't need to ask what Dahlia meant. She chuckled, as if Dahlia was stupid. The otkazat'sya opened her eyes again.

"A Saint will do away with the Fold. A Saint will reunite Ravka." She shrugged. "Your god will not. And..." Vatra lowered her voice. "Your god created darkness. He is the reason for millions of deaths." She leaned forward to whisper in Dahlia's ear. "All you will do is follow His path."
"That's not-" Dahlia started, but the word 'true' died on her lips. She fell silent as the heartrender flicked her wrist, twisted her hand a bit, and Dahlia felt something rubbing inside her, like a screw come loose.

Dahlia's breath became ragged. Her eyes filled with tears. She could feel something else pushing against the blonde heartrender's work, trying to ease the pain. Saida. The otkazat'sya quickly realised her sister couldn't push any farther. If she did, her power might spin out of control and harm her. Dahlia raised her head.

Vatra raised her hand. Fire leapt to life in her palm. In that moment, Dahlia plunged into a memory.

"We're gonna be tested?"
"Yes, Dahlia, for the thousandth time," Saida groaned. The eight-year-old went quiet as she watched her older sister march towards the door. She fidgeted with her fingers, careful not to aggravate her injured wrist. Then, Dahlia blurted, "I don't want you to go."
"Why do you always-" Saida pinched her nose.
"You haven't explained anything to me!" Dahlia started, ready for an argument. Saida whirled around to face her.

"Try this for size. If I'm grisha, I go. If you're grisha too, you come with me. Okay?" she spoke the last word irritably.
"Right. So we'll be kidnapped," Dahlia added.
"What? No, we'll just be taken. It's a school. If it's just me, I'll write," Saida promised quickly, giving a dismissive wave of her hand. Then, the eleven-year-old sighed. "Let's just get this over with." She walked out into the sunshine, and Dahlia followed.

An amplifier with dark brown eyes, dark brown hair and brown skin stood with a smile. "I'm from the Little Palace. What's your name?"

"Saida," the older sister muttered, not wanting to talk.
"And your sister?"
"Dahlia," Dahlia piped up before Saida could speak for her.
"Lovely names," the woman smiled. "I'm Czarina."

"Youngest goes first," Saida started, but Czarina shook her head. "We can't test an injured child. But I can test you."

Saida's eyes lit up. Dahlia's expression fell as Saida offered her wrist.

I'll write, Dahlia remembered Saida saying. But she'd said it quickly. Had she meant it?

Czarina pressed her fingers hard into Saida's palm. The eleven-year-old winced. Dahlia winced at her sister's pain.

"Heartrender," Czarina said.
"What?" Wadi asked, alarmed. Rahim pursed his lips. "That can't-"
"My power does not lie," the amplifier responded calmly. "Come, Saida."

Saida began to walk off. Dahlia ran after her. "Wait!"

Saida turned around as Dahlia grabbed her sleeve. "Get off-"
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?" Saida tried to shake her off, but Dahlia grabbed her shoulder.
"When you said you'd write?"
"I-"

The youngest daughter leaped forward again and grabbed hold of Saida's arm, trying to pull her away from Czarina.

"Dahlia, stop," Rahim said firmly, reaching out to pull her back.

"Let go of me!" Saida exclaimed.
"No!" Dahlia cried.

Maybe Saida would have said she had to go, if Dahlia hadn't tried to pull her back. Maybe she wouldn't have had enough.

Saida pushed Dahlia away. She stumbled. The older sister raised her hand. Suddenly, Dahlia's body locked into place. Her heartbeat started to slow down.

I can't move. Why can't I move?

Dahlia tried to move her hands. She couldn't. Even her fingertips were immobilized. Falling back came with the crushing realisation that Saida, not her, controlled her body now.

Those five seconds felt like an eternity. Dahlia heard Wadi and Rahim yelling in alarm, but all she could focus on was Saida's figure getting farther and farther away from her, until finally, her eyes shut, and she hit the ground.

Now, Dahlia couldn't even move her head. It hurt. Her mind scrambled, trying to form some sort of thought, but then the pain became unbearable.

All her life, Dahlia had been left behind. Abandoned by Saida. Inej stolen. Her other friends, conscripted. Even her parents, keeping their powers from her.

It hit her then. All Dahlia had felt since the incident, was grief - constant. The grief of growing up alone, the grief of never knowing a grandparent, the grief of being kept in the dark. Her mother had said it herself: she'd thought Dahlia would react negatively to her and Rahim's powers. Assumptions on top of assumptions. Was it because sometimes she didn't understand things that others did? That she'd taken a bit longer to speak? Or it could be because she was simply otkazat'sya, being slowly killed by grisha now.

Dahlia screamed. She didn't know if it was from all the sensations overwhelming her, or the pain.

Minutes felt like hours. It was only when the ground felt like it was shaking and when she could faintly hear thunder above, that calm turned into alarmed shouts. The pain disappeared. Dahlia could make out the word "trying" among the cacophony, and through the chaos, she opened her eyes.

That was when Dahlia realised she could move her fingers.

The ground stopped shaking. She blinked, then looked up. There was no rain, but still lightning flashed across the sky. Did I do this? Dahlia asked herself. She slowly got to her feet. Already retreating, the grisha were staring at her, fear in their eyes.

"You're cursed," the blonde heartrender spat. Then, they disappeared.

Another boom of thunder sounded overhead. Now Dahlia had no doubt this hadn't been her. "No," she whispered, awed. "I'm blessed."

It started to rain lightly, and Dahlia held out her palm to catch the raindrops, then looked up at the sky. "Thanks," she said, just as Saida approached her.

"'Thanks'?" Saida asked incredulously. "Did you just say 'thanks' to Allah?"
"What else am I meant to say, 'no you shouldn't have done that, I hate you'?" Dahlia asked, bewildered.
Saida checked over her. "Are you hurt?"
"No. The pain faded."

Saida nodded. She grabbed an umbrella from her bag and opened it. "Come on," the heartrender said quietly. "Let's move."

Dahlia fell into step beside her sister. Above them, the thunder still roared.