Accepting You

Chapter Forty Two

Spring had freed itself from Winter's grip when Asiya left work early on Wednesday afternoon. 

The cloudless sky and gentle sunshine motivated her to walk to the GP practice where her appointment would be.

If she wanted to be prescribed birth control, she needed a check-up.

Asiya had used birth control in the past to control her periods. She had suffered from chronic period pain as a teenager, which sometimes left her bedridden, unable to move or attend school.

While she didn't mind staying off school, having a week's vacation every month was unacceptable to her mother. 

Especially when a fat bill of £100 slid through her post-box one day, along with a letter ordering her parents to pay that £100 to the school for the days Asiya had missed "inexcusably".

After that charge, Asiya's mother had hauled her to a GP, hurrying them to find a cure for her heavy periods, and they had. Birth control and strong pain medication for other times.

When Asiya arrived at the surgery, she gave her name and appointment time at the desk.

She hadn't been sitting for long when a heavy, brown door opened, and the doctor sighed out her name, inviting her into the office.

Asiya entered the room and sat on the chair furthest away from the female doctor. She hated attending GP appointments alone.

The clinics often mirrored the sick patients waiting inside, making Asiya feel like her ailments were worse than they were. When a patient stood up and adjusted their chair, dark gangs of dust hiding in the corners of the reception would scatter into the atmosphere and make Asiya sneeze.

The constant ringing of hopeful people who were then turned down by the receptionist apologising, "Sorry; we don't have any appointments" would make Asiya hang her head in shame. 

Guilt would run through her as she thought about how she had contributed to one less appointment in an already overly, subscribed health care system.

The NHS had been neglected, and Asiya often left her appointments feeling like she had been too.

The doctors Asiya saw often made her feel like she wasn't sick enough to be there and was wasting their time. 

Asiya always had to over-explain herself whenever she visited the GP just to be heard and considered an actual patient.

Asiya made excuses. She preferred to put the doctor's behaviour down to the imbalanced free health system. It had too many people and not enough doctors. Doctors were bound to be irritated, short and snappy.

Asiya's family agreed: the national health system was oversubscribed, but not just with people.

"So." The doctor smacked her lips together, tilted her head and squinted at her computer screen. "It says here you want to start birth control again."

The doctor blew air out of her mouth and clicked her mouse. "You've not had this prescription for over three years. Has something changed?" She asked in a bored tone.

Asiya's fear of doctors meant once she moved and her mother couldn't accompany her into the intimidating buildings, she stopped going to the GP and renewing her prescriptions.

This appointment is meant to be easy, Asiya thought anxiously when she heard the lazy vowels coming out of the doctor's mouth. 

My reason for being here requires little to no explanation. You're fine, Asiya.

Asiya's eyes briefly slid over the woman. Dr Mona Mahmoud, her name tag read.

Asiya's neck became hot as she slowly answered. "Yeah, I've gotten married and don't want to have a baby right now."