Accepting You

Some Notes, Thoughts & Thank You's

With a book so long, it would be a crime not to say something!

    Notes & Thoughts:

✏️ Firstly, this book was from Allah. Ultimately, I couldn't complete it without Him, especially when I look at the unintentional foreshadowing and accidental parallels between my characters and our religion, which I love. Yusuf's inner and outer beauty, his grace with his family and his cleverness are similar to our Prophet Yusuf's (AS) own. Asiya's strength, faith, and resilience are just like our own Asiya (as), who was shown her place in paradise because of it. 🥹.

Even minor things, like the title of this book, when simplified, are the first letter of my character's name. 🥹. A&Y. That wasn't on purpose! I only noticed this was the case later. About thirty chapters in, I was like ✨🥲I'm so slow🤣✨ and decided to highlight it in chapter fifty-eight discreetly.

There are so many coincidences I did not plan! Sometimes, it feels like I plucked most of this book out of thin air! But my mum says that sometimes what we take as "coincidences" and "accidents" are Allah's way of being anonymous. ❤️.

✏️ Secondly, there is no such thing as a bad cultural group. A bad race. A bad ethnicity. A bad religion. There are only people who do bad things. Let that be clear. Sometimes, there are poor practices found within groups, but again, those practices are practised and maintained by people. I hope to articulate that clearly in the next version.

✏️ The main things I wanted to touch upon in my book were forgiveness, acceptance of others and a situation, communication, racism & insecurities, specifically within our community. 😮‍💨. Too many damn things. 🤣. No wonder this book feels like a mess to me sometimes.

I wanted Allah to remain present in A&Y's journey and wanted to highlight some growing pains. These "normal things" can sometimes feel so scary to Muslimahs, Muslims, black women, black people, etc, primarily because of the lack of conversation around them.

I also wanted to shed more of a realistic light on marriage but ironically chose the most unrealistic, romanticised, made-up way to do it. 🙄.

Honestly, I don't feel like I've done what I wanted to achieve. I'm hoping I hit my mark in the next draft. This book only has wisps of what I wanted it to have. Maybe you feel differently?

What's Next?

This question scares me so much. Although only one person has asked me this, I've asked myself this many times.

⏭️ Re A&Y: A rewrite. Primarily of the first half of the book. It is a blessing to feel as though you need to edit or want to go back and change something because it means you've grown and improved. ➡️ That is what the mature side of me is saying. 🤓.

The immature side says: GORL. PUH-LEASE. 😐. I should've never uploaded this book in the state I uploaded it in initially. 😭. I literally uploaded it on a whim. Within one hour, I had decided on a title with my friend, made a cover and clicked publish. 💀.

The early chapters were like the first, first, minus, the negative draft. It was literally a skeleton. I should've kept it buried. 😅. However, not doing so has taught me a lot and built confidence in my words.

I've estimated I want/have to rewrite around thirty-ish chapters (most likely the minimum). As of today, I've only rewritten sixteen 🫠. InshAllah, the book will end up being significantly shorter (I'm going to lose many of the lovely comments you guys left 💔I've screenshotted them), but a lot of the chapters will be longer.