Accepting You

Chapter Fifty Two

Asiya needed her pass, and she marched to those words in her head like they were the beat of a drum.

The HR and people's department was situated on the fifteenth floor, six floors above Asiya's, and guarded by frosted glass doors that could only be opened with a staff fob.

Asiya had carelessly left hers hanging on the back of her chair.

She hadn't initially intended on venturing off of her department floor for lunch. She hadn't been in the mood to talk or to see other people. She had planned to do whudu, pray and have a pity party at her desk.

But her plans had changed once Fatimah had given her a name.

Someone was going to hear her speak today. Someone, if not everyone, would listen to her, even if it took kicking them down to their knees.

Asiya charged closer to her office.

She felt like she was wasting precious time trying to get her pass, so each one of her steps was being electrified. Each one was faster than the previous, larger than the last, and every step felt riskier, too, like Asiya was at risk of tripping on her skirt and falling flat on her face, but she couldn't stop.

She felt too full.

Like there was a violent screaming scene playing out on a television inside of her, but someone had turned the volume all the way down or pressed the mute button.

Asiya could feel the movements, the anger, the hurt. She could feel the ripples from the chaos being acted out streaming through her, but she couldn't empty herself of them. Even though they were foaming inside her like a childish mixture of baking soda and vinegar.

The exit had been sealed. Asiya was determined to hold everything in until she stood before the right person.

Asiya slammed through her office, causing Kerry to jump in her spot.

Kerry snapped her head around, alarmed, her work phone tightly pressed against her ear. She moved her fingers in random shapes, mouthed some words and motioned towards Asiya. Come here.

Asiya batted away each of Kerry's signals. Her eyes zoned in on her lanyard. She grabbed it and bolted out of her office.

Time was ticking, and Asiya's feet were on fire as she ran to catch it. She would be okay if all that was left of her legacy in this office were dark, smoggy imprints on the floor after this. They would be proof she had done something.

"Asiya!" Kerry poked her head out of the office door and hissed her name across the hallway loudly. "Asiya! Where are you going?"

Asiya's fist swung towards the direction of the lift as she ignored her boss.

Asiya vaguely registered Kerry hastily giving instructions to the person on the phone before calling after her.

"Asiya!" Kerry called out again.

Asiya didn't respond. She didn't turn around. She didn't slow her speed or stop. Asiya was in a trance.

She continued to barrel towards the lifts, but instead of pressing the button, she swerved to the right and flew through the stair exit.

The lifts were too slow. It was lunchtime for most people. They would be even slower. Stopping and restarting at every floor, like a bus picking up passengers. Asiya didn't have time for that.

The stairs were rarely ever used. They were steep, wide and painful if you missed one. They were a workout, but they would be quicker.

Asiya began climbing up the stairs, taking them two at a time.