Levi x Reader Oneshots 2

What's Deserved (Guilty Levi x Reader)

"Wha...what?" you stammered breathlessly, pulling back so you could look at his face.

"Please," was all Levi whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

You were leaning over him atop the bed, the two of you having worked your way to this spot during a heated frenzy of sloppy kisses and hastily discarded clothes. Just yesterday, you'd returned from the mission to reclaim Shiganshina, exhausted and hurting in more ways than one, with a gaping hole in your heart where Erwin used to be. Last night, you and Levi had only possessed enough energy to shower and crawl into bed, curled around each other like two lost children looking for warmth and protection. Then you'd spent the day in a very long debrief with the brass before finally getting back to your private bedroom well after sunset, immediately coming together in a desperate expression of the storm inside you both – your relief that your lover had survived, and your shared grief over all the things you'd lost.

But then Levi asked you to do something for him – something that elicited shock and confusion and a terrible pain in your heart.

"Hit me."

It took you several seconds to think past your surprise. "Sweetheart," you murmured, lovingly brushing your knuckles across his cheek in the gentlest caress, your eyes searching his own, "why would you ask me to do that?"

"Because I deserve it," he replied instantly, his voice hoarse with what you'd initially thought was grief, but now there seemed to be something else mixed in. "I...I expected you to do it in Shiganshina, after you found out. I thought you'd...you'd slap me. Scream. Get angry. Anything. But...you didn't. You...you've been so kind to me, comforting me when I made the choice that hurt you." He took a shallow, shaky breath. "You even defended my decision in front of the brass today. Defended me. When I...I don't deserve any of it. I f-failed to kill the Beast. I let Erwin down, and then I let him die, and I hurt you by taking Erwin away. So p-please...just do it. Just hit me. Get angry. Just –"

"Shh, shh," you hushed him, your heart breaking at his words. "Levi, none of that is your fault. You did the very best you could to kill the Beast. It's just...he had backup, and you didn't. That's all. It's not your fault. And Erwin...oh, sweetheart, I could never be angry with you for that. You respected his wishes, right up until the end. And I know that choice hurt you just as much as it did me – maybe more, because you were the one who had to make it. You don't deserve to be punished and vilified. You deserve to be comforted."

While you were speaking, Levi's bottom lip started to quiver. By the time you were finished, he was on the verge of crying outright, and tears formed in the corners of his stunning, stormy eyes. He didn't know how to accept it – this forgiveness, this softness. He still felt like he deserved your hatred instead. And...he didn't know what to do, where to go from here. He was lost.

You tried to give him a smile, though it ended up being a small, sad thing, before leaning down to lay your lips on his. He felt so fragile – Humanity's Strongest, lying broken beneath you – so you put all your gentleness into the kiss, as if he were made of glass. All your tenderness and love.

"Just try to get through this with me. That's all I want," you whispered, your own voice trembling underneath the loss that was still so fresh. "And I know he'd want that, too. For us to move forward together."

Levi's breath caught. His eyes, still full of tears, went wide. For a single moment that seemed to stretch into infinity, he stared at you – as if you were an epiphany, a light that had suddenly appeared to guide him through the darkness.

Then he swallowed and blinked back his tears. "Okay," he croaked. "I'll follow your lead."

Your brow furrowed a little at his choice of words. Then again, despite his commanding presence and independent attitude, you had noticed Levi appearing more comfortable when he was following Erwin's orders. Maybe, deep down, he just wanted one, trustworthy person to help him navigate the unknown. And now that Erwin was gone, that position fell to you.

"Okay," you echoed. Gingerly, you took his hand in yours, lifting it to your lips to brush a tender kiss across his knuckles. Then you laid that hand above his head, entwining your fingers with his one by one, silently telling him you wouldn't let go. You weren't going anywhere. He wouldn't lose you too.