One Year Time Bomb

Set Me Free From This World

It has been days since Wei Wuxian's last seizure. The nights were the only time Lan Wangji can freely be with him.

The rustling wind blows across the streets. Lan Wangji could only watch from afar, wait outside where Wei Wuxian cannot see him. This was enough. Yes... Enough.

His greed, foolishness, and resentment make it hard to be carefree. How he hated himself right now. It was as if everything happened in a flash. And... Suddenly, it's all nothing more than a bedtime story. A distant memory that entangles his life and the last.

A smile raises ripples on the calm lake. His heart lit a flame whenever he sees those charming smiles.

His uncle was correct, the human heart is a mystery. Once pushing away, then wanting it back... If not... The heart is willing to suffer an endless abyss of thorns.

His thoughts were abruptly stopped when he felt the light tug of his pants. He glanced down and saw a big black rabbit nibbling the hem. He sat down, the rabbit did not move and let Lan Wangji pet him.

"He likes you..."

No one to entrust worries too. With two trails of tears, a thousand thoughts flash from Lan Wangji's head. The same smile directed at him. Suppressing this blazing fire inside his heart. Pray to tell; praises or blame, happiness or misfortune, are all given by whom?

Yet... If the gods were there and listened to his prayers... "He's fat." He will forever be indebted to them.

"Haha! Look he hates you now! You called him fat!" The same laugh and smile.

Lan Wangji slowly stood up ready to go away, "I must leave..."

"Why?"

Lan Wangji paused, "because you don't want me here.."

He can't risk him by pressuring him with his presence.

Lan Wangji was about to walk away to hide somewhere Wei Wuxian could not see him. He felt weak arms wrapping around his waist.

"Lan Zhan... wait for me..."

Faintly, for whom is that lively song played? Senseless yet wading forward. Heaven is cruel but his fate is in his own hands. Half a carefree lifetime all turns to dust. Longing and yearning to know his name.

The next time Lan Wangji woke up he sees himself completely broken. His brother by his side and father had just smiled at him...

Two months... Lan Wangji had been waiting for two months. His heartfelt uneasy. His desire to see him flaring. He wanted to hold Wei Wuxian, pour all his love. He could only play the piano nonstop. Play their song, their love song.

He can't stop. He can't stop playing. Not until Wei Wuxian heard him. Not until the last day.

If he's not playing at the old chapel, he would visit the Wen house, wait for hours and leave when it's dark. He would bring flowers, foods, or trinkets that he'll leave to Jiang Yanli or the guard. He would stand there in the middle of the snowfall, his breath drawing white smoke as he turn around.

There was one time he saw Wei Wuxian on the other side of the gates. But the latter run away and hid.

"Don't give up, Lan Wangji."

Despair.

That's Lan Wangji's feeling right now.

Nobody can protect someone from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break one with its yearning.

A person has to love. He has to feel. It is the reason one is here on earth. A person lives to risk his heart. Here to be swallowed up.

To be broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, to let oneself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell oneself you tasted as many as you could.