Blow a wish

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One shot based on Abhir's birthday

Goenka House, Udaipur

21st July. It was her baby boy's birthday. Her Abhir, her little miracle was turning 7 years old. Akshara shook her head softly as she watched her son sleep, sprawled all over Abhinav. She ran her fingers gently through his hair, she couldn't believe the years had passed by so quickly, soon her son would be all grown up and would be off building his own life.
The thought sometimes broke her into a cold sweat, ever since she gave birth to Abhir, her entire life had revolved around him. Every decision she had made was for her son, every breath she took was for her son. What was she other than Abhir's mother ? What was she going to do when Abhir eventually left the nest, and he would - she would ensure it. Her son would have all the happiness and joy in the world.

Her gaze shifted to Abhinav, this day was always very bittersweet. While it had brought her unmeasurable joy, it had also been the day Akshara Goenka had died. The memories of her labour flitted through her mind. The pain, the loneliness, the fear - she had been so terrified that her baby wouldn't make it. She wouldn't have survived losing another child.

With that thought came the familiar ache that always seized her heart. They say that it gets easier with time. But every year, it got harder to breathe, harder to shut the voices in her head. Harder to wake up from her dreams of a baby girl with her eyes & Abhi's smile.

Akshara got up from the bed and walked over to her closet. She opened the top most drawer and took out a box. She carried the box over to the window before taking a deep breath and opening it.
As she did every year - her fingers brushed over the cut out of a sonogram which was nestled within a little pink blanket.  

It was always a daughter in her dreams, sometimes she still woke up in the dead of the night clutching at her nightgown, terrified that she would see blood dripping down her legs. The baby who slipped through her fingers.

Akshara was used to grief, used to the pain of losing a loved one. Used to the hollowness in her heart, used to the silence the dead leave in their wake. But this grief was different, she was grieving a daughter she had no memories of. How do you love someone whom you don't know. All she had were her dreams, her what if's.

——————————————————————

Akshara watched as the entire family danced around her little boy, Abhir was shrieking with joy while balanced above Abhimanyu's shoulders. Before she could stop herself, her gaze wandered over him. Despite her initial instincts, Akshara had gone ahead and invited Abhimanyu - and even she couldn't deny that both father and son were happier for it.
There was a certain peace in Abhimanyu's eyes, his shoulders relaxed, an easy smile with the occasional barks of laughter.
Gods it had been years since she had heard him laugh

Before she knew it, it was time to cut the birthday cake. As the family gathered around, Abhir blew out the candles, his eyes quickly fluttering close to make his annual wishes. Akshara let out a chuckle before whispering a little prayer of her own to her Kanha ji.

"Chalo, I'll cut the cake and you can serve the pieces to everyone okay Betu"

"Wait Mumma" Abhir quickly yelled out before running over to the kitchen.

Abhimanyu raised his eyebrows at her  questioningly but she shook her head wondering what her little methidana was upto .

Abhir ran back to the table, before placing another a candle on the cake.

Bade Papa let out a whistle, "Wahh Buddy has gone and gotten himself another candle to make another wish."

The entire family broke out into laughter while Akshara herself shook her head, her son was way too smart for his own good sometimes much like his father.

"Abhir, that's not how this works bacha" Akshara said as she dropped to her knees beside her son.

"No mumma this isn't for me. It's for you."

"For me? I don't need any wishes" She continued squeezing his cheeks "Kanha ji has already granted my wish by giving me you. My precious miracle baby."

"Mumma every year I have seen you light a candle for my sister after everybody's gone to sleep. So this year I thought why don't we do it together?"

Akshara felt a tear run down her cheek, when he was younger, Abhir had wanted to know why he didn't have any siblings and Akshara had held him in her arms as she let him know that he did have a sister who lived among the stars. A sister she was sure was being pampered to bits by her own parents.

She nodded her head slightly before bending down towards the candle, her eyes meeting with Abhimanyu's, only to take a sharp breath seeing his eyes reflect the same pain, the same grief, the same longing, the same what if's.

"Aaira" She whispered before blowing out the candle.

A/N :
short chapter but this was a little scene I had in my head for the longest time so here it is <3
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Lots of love

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