Roohdaariyan - Abhira OS and short stories

Alone

Based on the events of todays precap where Abhimanyu confesses his feelings to Akshara.

"I love you Akshara , I always have and I always will."

Akshara felt like the wind was knocked out of her, felt like the universe was playing a fucking cosmic joke, cause this could not be happening right now.

The man who she once regarded as her everything, could not be standing there saying these words - words that once would have meant everything to her - words that she had once craved to hear - words that could have healed her.

Words that brought the memories of that damned day like a flood, breaking down all the barriers she placed.

The words echoed in her head and out of her mouth ,
" This love is a mistake, I made a mistake,
I should never given u a second chance because regardless of how many chances, 3rd , 4th , 5th - the destruction is all the same.

"Because of you, I lost my brother, my kids my entire family is suffering because of you."

Abhimanyu flinched, "Akshu.."  but there was no stopping the dam now.

"That's what you said to me remember before you threw divorce papers at me, before you threw me out of your life, do you remember Abhimanyu ?"
Akshara could feel the anger inside her building, anger she could deal with, anger was her only companion the last few years. 

"I didn't leave you Abhimanyu, I didn't want us to be apart, I didn't want the divorce - it wasn't my choice !!"

And there it was - it wasn't her choice, it wasn't mutual - he had just signed and expected her to do the same.

And then just as quickly the anger diminished replaced with pain - dull throbbing pain that was a constant her whole life.

"He was my brother too, my Laxman, who till his last breath fought for me" Akshara felt the first tear trail down her cheek and hastily wiped it off.

Neil, God she missed Neil,
Neil who was warm and funny, Neil who was her first friend.

The words just kept tumbling out of her, it was too much, all of this was too much, coming to Udaipur itself had Akshara on edge but then Abhimanyu's accident, Manjiri ma's accusations ( scratch that aunty - she was Manjiri aunty now, she had lost another mother)  and now this - it was like the fucking cherry on top.

"You don't think there hasn't been a single day where I wished it was me, that it was me who died!

"It was my baby too - my baby who slipped through my fingers" Akshara could swear she still feel the blood dripping down her legs, she broke out in a sob "and i couldnt.. I couldnt keep her inside me- I couldnt protect her !!!"

Her baby, it was always a girl in her dreams - with Abhi's eyes and his lips.

And then she thought of Abhir - her little man, her protector - she knew somewhere deep down, she knew Abhimanyu deserved to know, he had spent the last 6 years mourning them, mourning what could have been.

It's not like she didn't know Abhimanyu was hurting that day , she knew he had lost as much as her, but she had hoped to share their grief, mourn their losses together, hoped their love would tide them thorough the storm that hit them but he had removed  her from his life without once hearing her out.

He didn't pick up her calls, she had begged and pleaded with him.
She had wanted to jump back into his arms, she didn't care about any of what he had said, one of their babies, one of their little miracles was still alive.
All she had wanted was his arms around her, protecting her, protecting their Abhir.