Roohdaariyan - Abhira OS and short stories

Holding on and letting go 2

Udaipur

Abhir kicked another rock that was in his way as he walked down the road. He was officially lost. Like the last time he had sneaked out of the house, he had been fully prepared, with the directions to Goenka house already entered into the phone, but what he had not expected was for the phone to die on him.

"Oh God, Mumma is going to be so angry, this time you are in big trouble Abhir, this phone's charge also had to die now only, what do I do now ?" Abhir mumbled to himself as he scratched his head. It was getting late, and there was a chill in the air, by now he was sure Docman must have noticed that he had run away from home.

Abhir walked down the road for a few more minutes before he came across a park, "I will sit here only, I'm sure Mumma will find me"

——————————————————————

In the meantime, Abhimanyu, Akshara & Abhinav had taken to the streets to find Abhir,

"Junior !! Excuse me, have you seen a young boy walking around here" Abhimanyu asked as he ran around showing pictures of Abhir to people walking nearby.

"Mahadev! Please help me find my son" Abhimanyu whispered a prayer, his fingers clutching at his locket.

He wandered around shouting at the top of his voice searching for Abhir, before suddenly stopping in his tracks infront of a park.

A small little figure was sitting on a bench, swinging his legs, "Abhir" Abhimanyu whispered, taking in a deep breath. He could feel the knots in his chest loosening up - his son was safe.

Abhimanyu walked towards the bench hesitantly before taking a seat.

"Abhir, are you okay ?" Abhimanyu asked only to be met with silence.

"I know you're hurt right now, I'm sure you have a lot of questions, and I promise you, you will get your answers - but abhi ke liye ghar chalein bacha please"

Abhir shook his head, and Abhimanyu nodded his head dejected.

"How about this ? I will take you to your mumma instead - would you like that ?"

Abhir nodded his head slowly, and the both of them got up, ready to make their way to Goenka house.

"Betu !!"
"Nikkeji"

Akshara & Abhinav yelled out on seeing Abhimanyu and Abhir cross the road. They had been searching everywhere till Akshara suggested looking for Abhir at the park.

Abhir's ear's perked up on hearing his parent's voice and in a blink, ran towards Akshara, crashing into her awaiting arms.

Akshara kissed his forehead, holding him close, while Abhir snuggled into her neck.

"I missed you mumma" Abhir whimpered.
"I missed you too my bacha, but Abhir aise ghar see bhaagna ? I was so terrified, what if something had happened to you, promise me you will not do this again."

"Your mumma is right Abhir, we were so worried, but it's okay we'll talk about this later.Now let's head home, it's getting late." Abhinav added.

Suddenly they heard the blaring sound of a horn, and to their horror, a truck had lost control on the deserted side road and was heading towards Abhimanyu who was talking on the phone with his back turned.

"Bhaiji !!" Abhinav shouted before running towards Abhimanyu and pushing him out of the way.

"Abhinav!!" Akshara yelled as she saw his body hit the ground.

——————————————————————
A few days later

Abhir smacked the plate out of Abhimanyu's hand, the sound of the plate crashing echoing through the Birla house.

"I hate you ! I hate you ! You're the reason why my papa is dead. You hurt my mumma and now you killed my papa too. I wish you were the one who died"

Abhimanyu stumbled back, he couldn't breathe, it felt like someone had burrowed their hand inside his chest and ripped his heart out. His son's eyes glared at him, his tiny frame shaking with anger and hate, consumed by grief.

"Abhir ! That's enough !" Abhimanyu turned around only to come face to face with a worn out Akshara. She had purple shadows under her eyes and her cheeks were gaunt, Akshara looked like she had aged decades in the past few days.

"N-no he's hurting" Abhimanyu whispered, as the rest of the family member including his Maa gathered in the living room.

"That's not an excuse" Akshara replied sternly, before turning towards Abhir.

"Abhir, this is the first & last time you will ever say something like that, am I clear ?"

"No ! He's the reason Papa died!" Abhir shouted indignantly.

"Abhir !" Akshara shouted exasperated, she could not believe this was happening again, No she had to break this vicious cycle.

Akshara looked at her son, ever since Abhinav had died, Abhir had been furious at the world, his anger a living breathing entity that threatened to consume everything in it's sight.

"Abhir I know you miss your papa, I know you're hurt, but your father's death was not anyone's fault." She took a deep breath "Bacha, zindagi mein accidents, death - ye sab it's not in our control, it's not in our hands.Issmein kissi ki bhi galti nahi hai"

She took a step closer holding Abhir's tiny fists in her hands "I know you think no one understands what you're going through, but baby I do, guzur chuki hoon iss dard see, iss gusse se, I was about your age when my Papa had passed away too, and I'm sorry my love, I'm so sorry - I wish I could take your pain away."

Abhir sniffled, his eyes welling up.

"But baby, your papa is not gone, the ones who love us never leave us." She dropped to her knees, her eyes steadfast as she cupped her betu's cheeks "He lives on - tumhare dil mein, tumhare yaadon mein. Whenever I have felt lonely, I remember my papa, his voice, his laugh and it's like I'm wrapped in his loving arms again. You think blaming docman for his death is something your father would have wanted ? Did you think how hurt docman must have been with your words - Is that how your papa raised you ? Abhir apne papa ko apne pyaar se zinda rakho, nafrat se nahi"

Abhir nodded, tears trailing down his cheeks "I'm sorry docman" before rushing to his room.

Akshara stood up before turning towards Abhimanyu "I'm sorry for what Abhir said, please know that we don't hold you responsible for what happened - issmein tumhari koi galti nahi hai."

Abhimanyu took a sharp breath, while Manjiri let out a muffled sob. When Neil had died, hadn't she left no stone unturned to blame Akshara for his death.

"To be held responsible for a loved one's death, the guilt, the suffocation and self loathing that wrecks your soul - mujhse behtar aur kaun jaan sakhta hai. Kissi umar qaid se kam nahi hai. And I will not let my Abhir m-my sweet innocent boy inflict that sort of pain on anyone. I will not let hate fester in his heart. I will not let Abhinav be an open wound for him like Sirat Maa was for me." Akshara continued as she wiped the tears off her cheeks "Abhinav deserves better than that."

A/n :
So personally for me an Abhir blaming Abhi track would only be meaningful if we see Akshu break that cycle of this vicious blame game. I would like to see Akshu help Abhir deal with his grief in a more healthy manner which is something that was never afforded to her as a child and then later on as an adult.

Do comment and let me know your thoughts - I love reading them 💞
Thank you for all the votes
lots of love