Tough Love, Johnny Cade (Jally)

Seventeen: Shotgun Cigarette

"Johnny, hey..."

Dallas was holding me. The tent wavered in the wind above his head.

"Johnny, are you alright man?" Dally had an expression of pure panic on his face.

Dallas.

I closed my eyes. I could still see it. The flowers. The people. The gang. Or, Two-Bit, Steve, Soda, and Darry. I saw them, but only in flashes. Two-Bit was staring with that broken expression. Soda was crying, Steve by his side. Steve handed him tissues. Darry stood alone, quiet and stoic. All of this I gathered from glances of vision. There were many other faces in the background, a few of them familiar, but not of any significance.

Oh, and Dally was there. But by the glance I got of him, I wasn't sure if I could really consider him there or not.

I opened my eyes. Dallas was looking down at me. His eyes were open. His heart was beating.

"You saw something. Didn't you." Dally said. It wasn't a question. I nodded, a lump in my throat.

"Dally, these can't mean anything." I said, my voice breaking as I started to cry. I didn't say that in a logical way. I was praying it was true.

"Johnny, I'm going to figure this out." Dally told me in a low tone. "I'm going to figure out what this is, I've been trying, and I am so close. I can feel it." Dally was looking at me with stern, promising eyes. "And then," he continued. "I'm going to make it stop. We won't have to worry about this anymore."

"Promise?" I whispered. Dally studied my face and nodded stiffly.

"Promise."

I slowly wiped at my face and Dally sat me up, pulling away. I felt cold in his absence, and instinctively reached after him. Like he was a blanket that had fallen off the bed or something.

Dallas sat on his now ruffled pile of bedding. I sat on mine, still trying to wipe my face and erase the visions from the back of my eyelids. After a moment I pulled my hands away from my face and me and Dally met eyes.

"Can we... go for a walk?" I asked quietly. Dally chuckled.

What's so funny?

"I thought you were scared of bears." He said. I shrugged.

"Yeah, well, I need some air."

Dally and I grabbed our shoes from the door of the tent and crawled out. We stood in the warm air. It wasn't as hot as the day had been, but the warmth was enough to nearly be uncomfortable. Dally and I started for the trees. We walked in silence for a while, reaching the stream and jumping across it. My foot slipped when I made it to the other side, and Dally caught my arm and kept me from tripping backwards. We continued through the trees with more silence.

After a few minutes, we came across another clearing similar to camp, except it was completely surrounded by trees. In the middle of the clearing was one, large tree. It was very old, and probably twice as big as the other trees in the area. I wasn't sure what kind of tree it was. Maybe Ponyboy would know.

We walked right up to the tree, checking it out. I found an elevated root and sat on it, leaning against the tree. Dally sat on the dirt beside me, lower than I was.

"Boy, that's a nice breeze." Dally said, lighting a cigarette. He leaned back into the tree bark, taking a long hit as he tilted his head back. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and blew the smoke upward. His eyes drifted over to me, then he tilted his head at me, grinning. My heart started going off like an alarm.

Dally passed me the cigarette, and I looked away from him and took a hit. I didn't look back until I tried to pass the cigarette back. Dally looked at me then the cigarette, his smile gone. He stood up and took it from me. Since he got up, I was figuring I was about to get up too. But before I could do anything, Dally was reaching a leg over me. Surprised, I looked up at him. He stood above me with his feet on either side of the root. He stood there a moment and took a long hit off his cigarette, the cigarette glowing and the moonlight dancing off his hair in little rays between the leaves.

Dally put the hand with the cigarette against the tree next to my head, leaning in and grabbing my jaw in such a way that kept my mouth slightly open. His face grew closer to mine, and I thought he was about to kiss me, but he didn't. He started exhaling the smoke, right at my mouth. He leaned in a little more and I let myself breathe in his smoke though my mouth. We were so close, our faces were almost touching, but they weren't. He lowered himself to his knees, his body barely an inch apart from mine. The breath ended, and I turned my head away, exhaling. It took us both a moment to catch our breath.

Dally gingerly turned my head back towards him, our faces still close. For some reason, my instinct was to shake my head and say, "We can't."

Dally shook his head too. "I know." He said. We met each others eyes and stayed that way for a long moment. Dally's brows furrowed upward and he whispered: "But I don't care."

Dally tossed the cigarette into the grass and kissed me, pushing my head into the bark of the tree. I felt him relax into me, letting his body completely lower onto mine. Dally was bigger than me, and his waist was slightly crushing mine, but for some reason I liked it. Dally pulled me in by my back and my hands found their way to his hair, gingerly grabbing ahold of it.

Flash. I can see it again, the vision. Just a glimpse of tissues in Steve's hands.

The image is gone. No. Dally is here. My eyes are closed but I can feel the warmth of his lips on mine and the pressure of his weight on me.

Dally is right here.

He pulled away long enough to pull off his T-Shirt, and I am brought back to the night at Buck's . But in another flash, the present is gone and Dally is screaming in the hallway again, just like that first vision I had.

No.

Dally was still right in front of me. He was kissing my neck, his hands climbing under my shirt.

Dally is here. Dally is now.

I clutched his hair and he breathed into my neck. It's just him. He is the only thing there. The visions are lies.

Dallas, Dallas-

"Dallas."

Dally pulled away from me, catching his breath.

"Yeah?" He panted, a strand of hair falling in front of his mouth. I couldn't help but grab his face and kiss him one more time, passionate and rough. When I pulled away, he looked at me, surprised. He hadn't expected me make a move like that. I thought about apologizing, but changed my mind.

"What are we doing?" I whispered. Dally shook his head.

"I don't know."

Dally slowly got off of me and helped me to my feet. I moved away from the the tree root and found a grassy spot to lay down under the tree.

"Did you not want to go back to camp?" Dally asked as I lay back in the grass.

"I wanna stay here for a while."  I said, and Dally shrugged.

"Alright." He lowered himself a few inches away and lay down too, his T-shirt as his pillow. For many long, quiet minutes, we watched the leaves rustle in the wind. Dally's eyes were closed after a while, but I didn't think he was sleeping. After pondering, I scooted close to him. Hesitantly, I lay by arm across his chest, resting my head in the crook of his neck.

Dally's breath caught, and for a second I was scared he was going to get mad at me. But, he slowly moved his head up, supposedly looking at me. Then, he hesitantly put his arms around me, one on my lower back and the other at my neck. He toyed with the hair that curled up under my ear.

Dally is safe. I promised myself.