Tough Love, Johnny Cade (Jally)

Nineteen: P.B.B&J

I had looked away again, back at the floor as the room went silent.

I love Dally. Dally loves me.

It was hard to process. I felt frozen in place.

"Maybe we should give you two a minute." Ponyboy offered. Part of me wanted to climb out the window and run until I collapsed, but I knew he was right, and me and Dally needed to talk. I nodded stiffly. Suddenly Soda was pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Johnny, I really did have it all wrong." He said softly.

I hugged him back, and without thinking I said, "It's okay, this is the only thing you didn't understand." I wished I'd said it a little less bluntly, but it was the truth. Sodapop usually could understand anything. He'll sit there and smile and talk to you low like the kind heart he is. Golden Retriever, that's what he is.

Ponyboy had snuck up beside us and joined the hug. Steve came in and put his hand on my shoulder, and Two-Bit came up behind and jostled both mine and Pony's hair. When everyone pulled away, I smiled, a little. Soda smiled back and motioned the others to follow him out of the room.

Dally silently slipped passed them as they exited, and Two-Bit closed the door behind them. Dally stood silently, and I took it as an opportunity to sit down at the foot of the bed. Dally slowly came over and sat down next to me.

"Sorry." I said quietly after a beat. "I didn't mean to tell them all like that... I didn't know what else to say."

"I think it was important enough." Dally said casually. "They had the wrong idea, I get it. I guess it all ended up best-case scenario anyways."

"Yeah." I said quietly.

"Yeah." Dally said.

There was another long silence before Dally cleared his throat. "Hey, I know the gang all know now and stuff, but we still gotta keep this quiet from everyone else."

I nodded. I felt like it had been a huge step, to say all that and for everyone to know, but I felt like something was missing. "Hey... Dal?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we...?" I wasn't quite sure how to word it. I was looking away again. "Should we...?"

"Oh." Dally said, catching on and I knew I didn't have to elaborate anymore. Still, in that following silence, I couldn't help but remember the we can't. We shouldn't. It's dangerous. I knew that. But with everything going on recently, nothing reality threw at me seemed as dangerous as my dreams.

"We could be." Dally said softly. He said it in a shy tone- one Dally only ever uses when he's embarrassed to be talking about something, usually feelings. "I mean, only the gang could know, obviously... I guess with how much has already happened, the damage has been done, so it wouldn't really affect much."

I nodded. "Okay." I said. "Well I'm in." I tugged on my hair.

"Okay, well then, I'm more in." Dally said, a smile in his voice.

I couldn't help but laugh. Leave it to Dally to make it a competition. If there's a chance Dally can win at something, Dally will win. I looked down at the bed, where Dally's hand was next to mine. Hesitantly, I put mine on top of his. Dally was still for a long moment, which confused me. I looked up just in time to see him suddenly gasping and pulling away.

"I'm sorry!" I said.

Dally looked at his hand and his breathing slowed. "It's not you, I just..." Dally started. "I thought I saw something."

"When I touched you?" I asked. Maybe like the flashbacks I had when he kissed me.

"It doesn't matter." Dally said. "We should go have a talk with the gang."