Enchanted

Chapter 23

Sabrina

Cedric: Hii, taken your dinner? If not, I could pick you up and you can choose the dinner spot.

I would like to go out with you but I can't. I was rewinding my conversation with my aunt and felt so full from processing those words. The thought of stuffing more food into my digestive system made me want to throw up.

Me: Sorry, fried rice is a real carbo that took up my space already :/

Cedric: Haha, next time then

I lied in a humorous way. It was for the best of both parties. I didn't want him to look at the ugly side of me and he didn't have to worry about me. I was still in my sweater and jeans with my mascara smeared around my eyes but my heart was messier than my outer look. I swiftly powered off my phone and shut my eyes to rest.

I used to try to figure out what my mum and dad were arguing. Those were the times before I had a series of nightmares. Dad went to work early in the morning so I don't see him often. And he returned home late in the middle of the night. I learnt these when I was 5. When he returned in the evening, he would have a private discussion with mum at his office below my bedroom. When their conversation got longer than 10 minutes, I would hear dad yelling and the argument ended with a door slam. One night, I asked mum what they were talking about and she sighed, "Work is stressing us out, honey. I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that." When I turned 6, I started to be more attentive to the topics they were discussing. I heard my name mentioned a few times and I panicked. We were having a casual dinner when I accidentally slipped the question out of my mouth. "Mummy, I heard you were talking about me just now. What was it about?" She was expressionless so I didn't know if she was too stunned to speak or if she was trying to find words to reply to me. Dad interrupted, "Were you eavesdropping upstairs? That's very rude!" Later on, mum told me not to do so next time as it upsets dad. On Sunday of the last week of every month, they took me shopping downtown. Dad would buy me the dresses and toys I liked as long as I behave well. This was the specific reason that made me believe dad doesn't hate me even though he shouted at me or sometimes beat me. Daddy loves you. He buys you everything and lets you live in a nice house and eat savoury meals. I found myself confessing these words at night so I would stop crying and sleep.

When I woke up, the sweater was stuck to my flesh and I realised I forgot to switch on the fan. It was past midnight and the lights downstairs were off. I cannot determine the difference between the reality and the nightmares anymore. Because the more you think about something, the more it becomes merely a tale you heard before somewhere and doubts the story ever happens to you. Feelings are strong senses yet it is nothing when there is no evidence.

I needed proof.

Nicolette

It could have been different if I did not make that decision when I was at the age of 10.

I was that girl who had average grades, terrible at sports and had zero social skills. When we were asked to take part in an extra curriculum, the only choice I have was to join the school's chess club. A club where you can keep your mouth shut for the entire 2 hours session and not feel the slightness of ashamed. Another huge reason was Madeleine was one of the chess club members and the idea of having someone to rely on solaced my introverted personality. Mum and dad did not object to my decision as well because they thought Madeleine could sharpen my skills with daily practice at home.

My sister and I were completely different. She was a self-taught chess player because it was passion that drove her to spend hours watching videos online, learning different styles of chess openings and playing with the bot using dad's computer. Her Christmas present at the age of 8 was a chess set and she was so thrilled that her smile was brighter than the Christmas lights. She didn't care if her classmates think she was weird bringing the chess set to school so that she could play with her friend's older sister, Renee. She was satisfied living in her own world full of books and chess even though she only have a friend by her side at that time. "Family is my best friend because you will never leave me, right?" Her pink lips curved and her rosy cheeks glowed.

In the first few weeks, I was doing great under the assistance of my sister and Coach Lee- picking up the basics and learning the moves of the chess pieces. "If you could master the King's Pawn Opening, you officially pass the beginner level," said Coach Lee.

My imagination flew further than my reality. I was innocent, innocent enough to think I could become a chess prodigy.

Another month later, Coach Lee praised me for being so diligent and moved me to the intermediate level. Never once I gave credit to my sister. I allowed the excessive self-esteem to crush me. It was my determination after all.

"It's been 5 whole minutes, are you even planning to move or not?" my opponent grunted. I stared at him and nodded slightly. He facepalmed before continuing his complaint. "Gosh, Coach Lee should have let us use the chess clock in the first place!"

I swore middle games in chess were harder than solving mathematics because I have never felt so embroiled in something in my life, not that I have lived a really long life anyway. But I have always taken the easy way out by asking for help from Madeleine. Right now, I was battling alone and my scream echoed in the barren land while the enemy encircled me nearer and nearer. It felt like being devoured by vultures until I am no longer a human but flesh.

That day, I went home on the verge of tears knowing chess is not a career I could pursue to supply my needs in the future. I started to blame the people around me. Coach Lee for paying more attention to other members. My sister for coming up with excuses that she needs to complete her homework and cannot practice with me. My parents for being mere business people who need accountants because they suck at economic strategies.

I was wrong because it still ended up being my sister who came into my room and consoled me.

I continued to torture myself with brain-aching chess games so I could at least graduate elementary school with accomplishment in my extra curriculum. At some point, I put more effort into studying chess than revising for my Science quiz on the next day, I found joy in the silent world, challenging myself to a higher level and capturing pieces on the board as if it was edible food that I craved so much.

"You've improved a lot, Nicolette and not gonna lie, I'm impressed." Coach gave me a pat on my shoulder. She was also kind enough to spend her weekends giving me extra one-on-one lessons and ensuring I don't make any blunders. My parents of course offered to pay her but she denied it.

A year later, after persuading Coach Lee for allowing me to have competition experience, I got to represent my school in the individual state-level tournament. It was no easy job staring at the chess board with your ass glued to the chair for 1 hour and only moving your brain and your hands.

I walked out of the hall with colours drained out of my tiring soul like being caught in the middle of the black and white chess pieces. That was the sign of being defeated so badly despite trying extremely hard to defend your opponent's attack. I was pretty convinced I would not pass the preliminary round of the state-level tournament since the beginning because the probability of winning a game is 30% so I was not complaining when I got a score of 3.5 out of 7.

I was surprised I joined the chess club at South Lake High School despite trying my best to stay away from any activities that could awaken the memories of Madeleine.

"Look carefully, Nicolette. A single move could alter the ending of the game, creating variations that you couldn't possibly think of." Coach Lee's favourite sentence that she repeated the nth time floated passed my mind.

It was fate that brought us together. But this time, I will not let fate intercept our lives. I will be making the decision.

And my decision was to keep this friendship alive.