Sender Unknown | 18+ | Jimin x reader | Completed!

25. First Love

I spend the entire day hanging out with the group, talking and getting to know them. I listen to them while they share funny stories about their time on tour, their rookie years and then, after we have finished our dinner and gotten back to to couches the topic of love comes up.

"Jimin hyung, how long have you loved Y/N-ie?" Jungkook asks gently and blushes slightly when he looks at his brother. Jimin looks at me and smiles before he answers.

"That's a hard question Kookie. I knew I had feelings for her when I saw her with Seung for the first time."

"And Seung is?" Jin cocks his head.

"Seung is my ex." I shift my position and tilt my head down.

Jimin looks back at the younger and continues. "I knew I loved her when I could not bare to tell her that I was the one who was texting. The fear of loosing her made me realize that. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner Y/N." He says while grabbing my hand softly.

"Jimin, why didn't you?" The words roll of my tongue like a whisper.

"Honesty, I was terrified. I still am. I have never loved like this before."

Namjoon looks at the younger member with pride beaming in his eyes. "You're all grown up now huh? Well I guess it was bound to happen soon to one of us."

I think for a second, no true dating scandal has ever broken out in this group of young men. How is that even possible? 

"Have anyone of you dated before? I mean, there has never been a scandal that I know of." I let my gaze wander around them questioningly after I finished my sentence. 

"I have, but as you can see, it didn't work out. She was so scared of our fans, being caught with me and after a while it became to much for her. It's not like I can blame her right, I mean, we chose to be like this, idols. It gets so lonely that I sometimes wonder if it's worth it"

I have never heard Yoongi speak so many words at one and I respect the honesty in his voice. But at the same time, it breaks my heart.

"That must be hard for you." I state.

"We are all humans but people forget that." The leader chuckles and try to brush it off but I can tell that the loneliness looms over the guys.

"Namjoon, if you don't mind me asking. Have you ever been in love, dated?"

He looks around the room, uncertain of he should answer or not. "Yes I have been in love but no, I have not dated since I became a part of Bangtan." He takes a deep breath in. "Y/N, this won't be easy. You have to be prepared."

Jimin grabs my hand firmly and gently start tracing circles on the top of my hand. Not wanting me to worry more that I have to.

"It's getting late, lets get you home huh?" He says to me while he stands and holds out his hand to give my body support as I try to get up.

"Thank you so much for having me, and Hoseok, again I'm so sorry for... you know."

I bow profusely towards Hobi before me and Jimin walk out of the house.

***

Namjoon is laying on his bed and looks up at the paintings on his walls, thinking about the events two years ago that made him make the decision that he did. Transferring the woman he'd fallen in love with to another group.

A little over two years ago.

"Is, you know that we can't, I can't..." He place one hand next to her face against the metal at the back of the trailer. They can hear the people roaring in the arena above but all he can focus on is her.