18 | Embarrassed

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Filming Day 60:97

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Filming Day 60:97

My head still hurts the morning I go into work after a terrible weekend. Was it terrible? Maybe only half of it.

I had let a vulnerable side of me show to Gracie. And when I looked into her eyes... I could tell that she saw me, who I really am in that moment. And nothing makes me happier.

Maybe that's why I get weird stares when I walk into work with a smile on my face.

I can't help the way my gaze goes to her trailer, knowing she is in there and maybe she is thinking of me. It takes everything in me to not stride over there, instead I head inside my own and let my makeup artist get to work.

When they are done though, I get up quicker than I can think and out of my trailer. I see her standing on the set, doing the scene before ours. The way she moves, talks, it makes my face soften with pride.

She is an absolute natural. I still don't understand how this is her first gig. Dare I say she is way better than me. Maybe that's because she is doing what she loves and it shows.

Unlike me, you can see how passionate she is about her career. She was made for it. And I can't wait for the world to see her.

"East! Ready?" Tanner's voice wakes me from the daydream my mind is currently having. I don't answer, instead I walk up to set and get in place.

I look up and see Gracie looking at me. When our eyes connect, her face reddens, but so do my ears. She looks away as if looking at me will kill her.

I bite my lip, wanting to say something, anything to her, but my mouth won't open and before I know it, we are being directed to our places.

"Annnnnnddd Action!"

*Miles*

We walk hand in hand towards my bike. Her tiny hand fits in mine like she was made for me. And maybe she is.

"Miles?" I shake my head, coming out from my thoughts. "What's up Darlin'?

Her cheeks flush. "I need to tell you something." Her softened face turns into a frown. I jump into action and cradle her face.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure we will be able to get through it. You and me." I offer her my best smile. Any doubts she has, I want them gone. I want her to stay with me forever. And every day I can feel her slipping out of my fingers.

"I-" She stutters. "I don't think that we should be with each other. I like you- I do. But I'm bound to disappear from this any day now."

I tilt my head in confusion.

"Thea- we just- we just got together, I don't want to let you go." It's my turn to frown.

Tears well up in her eyes. "I know Miles. But what if what we have isn't real? What if it's just a fantasy?"

The meaning behind those words sound like they have some kind of deeper meaning. "What do you mean you could disappear?"

"I told you that my family doesn't live here- I'm only supposed to be here temporarily. I shouldn't have gotten attached."

I knew her family wasn't nearby, she told me that. She told me that she wanted a new scene for summer so her parents let her come here.

"We could make it work! I could send you letters and we can meet with each other whenever we can! This can work Thea!" I say ecstatic

"No!" She shouts. I backed away from her in her tone. Her face immediately shows regret. "I can't Miles." Tears stream down her face in a matter of no time. "I can't get your hopes up like that."

"You wouldn't be darlin'... if anything I'm getting my own hopes up." I bring my hand to her cheek.

(She stares at me with her big eyes and I can't resist. It's almost like Miles and Thea disappear and it's Gracie and Easton.

My thumb feels her warm cheek. This is the moment I realize I would do anything for this girl. Protect her even though she isn't fragile.

The script lives in the back of my mind. But for some reason, it's gone at this moment.)

I lean in quickly and place a kiss on her lips. She gasps before she relaxes and brings her hands to my neck.

(I get lost in the kiss for what feels like hours. But she doesn't pull away, and neither do I. Not till I realize that in the script, it was supposed to be a kiss on her cheek.

I pull away faster than I have. This is the part where Tanner would yell cut! But he doesn't.)

*Back to Easton*

The scene goes quiet. I'm still holding onto Gracie, my eyes closed, realizing what I had just done. I had kissed her in front of everyone, an unscripted kiss in fact.

I open my eyes to see her already looking at me. Shock fills her face, but she doesn't say anything. I take a quick glance at the people around us and see they are also just as shocked as I am.

My cheeks and my ears flushed in embarrassment. I pull my hand away from Gracie rather forcefully which causes her to stumble.

I'm quick to make a beeline for my trailer. And that's what I do. I fast walk to it and slam the door. I sit on my couch, my hands covering my cheeks.

I'm so embarrassed that I don't think I will be able to show my face ever again. Not to the crew, not to the world, not to anyone.

It must be hours later that I leave my trailer. I wanted to make sure everybody was gone so that I didn't have to face them.

When I open my trailer door I'm met with her face. Unforgettable face.

"Hey I- I wanted to know if you were okay? That was a pretty tense ending and I want you to know that I-'' I don't let her finish. I feel the embarrassment coming back to me.

I walk past her, fast to my car. I don't know if she is trailing behind me but when I'm on the road I start to think of how stupid I am for leaving her, not asking if she needed a ride. I left her alone in the dark.

But it's too late to turn back. I head up to my apartment and wash the day off.

Nothing I do will ever erase this moment.

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