Citrus

twenty-six

Bisola

James gave me a long, unhinged look, void of any sort of emotion. I stared back at him, confused, and lost of words.

"W-what did you mean by that?" My voice trembled and my mind raced. He knew! He fucking knew. With my little glances, and hinting gestures, he was aware of everything I'd done to get his attention. He was aware that I loved him. But how?

"You think I wouldn't know?" James began, his brows ceasing together. My breath hitched, my heart accelerating in my chest. "You should have been dumb for you to think I wouldn't notice, you hovering around me like some lost puppy " he laughed, his voice rough and not sounding like the James I used to know.

Bile rose in my throat. Despair and dread sunk into my stomach as I looked at him, my skin breaking into a cold sweat. I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. Totally and utterly speechless. I had been such an utter fool.

"Who told you?" I asked, pain etched in my voice. I could not believe this. This can't be happening.

"Who do you think?" James cackled again, "My precious twin brother of course,"

John.

The world instantly went still as I froze, his words sinking in deeper and deeper until it made me let out an internal cry.

No. It couldn't be.

I could not register my thoughts. He had told him. John had made me feel like an utter fool. Of course, it was him, who else could it have been? He had been playing a game with me, that was what he always did and I had played along, had fallen into his trap so deep that right now I just felt nothing but utter disgust at myself.

I held my hair in my hands, my breath heaving up and down. And James-he had known all along and still made me behave like an idiot all over him, knowing my intentions, stomping on my feelings and heart and shattering it into many different pieces.

I sent him an angry glance, which made him jerk back in surprise. My blood was boiling and I was on the verge of exploding. "When did he tell you?"

"Bisola why are you-"

"When did he tell you?" I repeated, my voice firmer this time. James noticed my tone but didn't react to it any longer as he signed and placed his hands into his pockets. I waited for his reply.

"The day he left for the US. Honestly, I wasn't aware of it until he told me, but wanted to respect your feelings by not telling you,"

"Respect my feelings?" I scoffed. Tears began to brim my eyes as I tried all I could not to let them spill but couldn't. I had been betrayed, totally and utterly betrayed. I could not just believe this, "How dare you say you respected my feelings? You were aware of everything. Every. Single. Thing. Can you even imagine how I felt when you introduced Jane to me? When you'll tell me about every girl you dated? When you introduced me to each and every one of your girlfriends? You knew how I felt and you still invited me to that god-damn dinner!"

"Bisola I-please just listen to me-"

"Listen to you say what?" Hot tears began to spill down my cheeks, I was devasted. "I tried everything. Everything I possibly could to make you notice me, to make you love me John and you were aware of that and did nothing?"

James looked dejected, "Bisola, I'm sorry I didn't just want to hurt your feelings. I swear it was never my intention to hurt you. It's just that I-I didn't want to cause you any harm,"

"Well, congratulations!" I wiped my tears away, "You've finally succeeded, good job,"

I never wanted to see his face again.