His Secret

38|Moping

Eve's POV

1 week later

"Thanks," I said as I opened the can of soda Chase just brought me.

He sat down next to me on the grass.

"When are you going to stop moping around?" he asked as he drank his soda.

"I broke things off with him. What else do you want from me?"

I am not going to lie; things have been way tougher than I expected it to be.

I cry every day and I can't stop thinking about him.

At times, I remember the warmth of his body radiating on mine as we cuddled. Now I am shivering in every room.

The look he gave me last week in my car haunted me. He didn't reveal anything, but I know that look was full of hatred and indignation.

I had to do it. I had to protect myself.

It was never going to be me so why would I waste my time?

I don't want to end up later in life with no husband, no children, and no happiness because I chose to remain a secret to someone.

This isn't me. I am no one's secret.

"Don't tell me you actually liked him." He laughed. "He was just using you like he does everyone else. You were an easy target for him. He knew you wouldn't refuse because you were terrified of him."

"He didn't force me to do anything."

"That's what he wants you to think but guys like him always have an ulterior motive. That's just who they are."

Maybe he was right. Maybe Haze manipulated me. It doesn't matter now because we're over.

He wants to keep me a secret and I don't want to anymore. That's something neither of us are willing to compromise on so we have to put an end to it.

"There you guys are!" Belly smiled as she came over with Aaron. "I can't believe we just finished our last class. This feels surreal."

Chase smiled before kissing Belly. "I know."

I looked away from them before something made my heart skip a beat.

Haze was walking across the field looking at me. He had bruises on his face and walked with a limp.

His father must have done that.

The day after I broke things off, he didn't show up to school. Neither the day after that. He walked into class late the next day with fresh scars. Everyone stared at him for the whole day.

Someone even started a rumor that they saw him get into a big fight. They said he was losing but he got up and beat up the people who were getting at him.

Part of me wanted to believe that story but the other part knew it was a lie. Haze admitted the harsh reality behind his bruises.

We didn't try to communicate with each other. We just silently watched each other from across the field. I was just trying to absorb all the warmth he radiated even though he was so far away. I was trying to memorize every feature on his face.

Last night I did something bad.

I fantasized about him.

I just wanted to feel something, anything.

Suddenly, I couldn't remember how he looked. I couldn't remember how dark his hair was or how his handsome features were. I never want to forget that so I'm soaking it all in.

I don't care if he sees me doing it or not.

I wondered if he had fantasized about me. He probably didn't when he has a whole line of girls just waiting for his call.

I wonder what he is thinking about right now as he watched me. Was he trying to soak in all my features too? Was he plotting something to ruin me? Was he regretting that he decided to keep me a secret?

"What are you looking at Eve?" Chase asked. "You should be focusing on your conversation with your friends."

I took one last look at him before turning around to the others.

"Do you really think he won that 'big' fight everyone was talking about?" Belly asked.

Aaron laughed. "The guy put me in a hospital bed. I'd be surprised if he didn't."

I stood up. "I'm going somewhere else to wait for the bell."

"What's her problem?" Aaron asked as I walked away.

"I think she just misses Steve."

When I walked to back of the school to be by myself, I saw Jason standing there vaping.

I turned back to avoid any problems, but he already saw.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I was shielded when I was with Haze but now, I have no protection.

"You aren't supposed to be smoking at school."

"Oh really? I didn't know that. I'll stop right away!" he said sarcastically before putting the vape to his mouth again.

I turned around to leave again.

"I didn't know that you were so cold. Looks like I misjudged you."

I turned back to face him. "If you are seen smoking, that's an automatic detention. I don't want to be anywhere near here if a teacher catches you."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking about the smoking, hall monitor. I'm talking about how you dumped Haze on his birthday."

I felt a pit in my stomach.

I didn't know it was his birthday.

"I don't like when people mess with my best friend, especially some nerdy bitch. You made him all weak and now he's all emotional. He took all those beating from that uh, um, fight."

"Jason, I didn't-"

"If you want to be angry at someone, be angry at me. I'm the one who wants Ashley. Haze doesn't want her. If I had told him before, none of this would've happened. Don't get mad at Haze. He's a good guy, better than Ashley and I."

I watched him.

"You should go," he said. "I just wanted to tell you that everything Haze said was true. He loves you. I've never seen my best friend so miserable over a girl before. If he didn't like you so much, I would have ended you from the moment I found out. Maybe I should've done that then I wouldn't have to see Haze look so pathetic."

"Take care of him."

He shook his head. "I can't take care of someone who doesn't want to be helped."

"Please."

He turned away from me. "You should go before someone sees you with me. Then I'll have to beat you up."

I took a deep breath before turning around and leaving.

I hate how things ended. This was supposed to be harmless and mutual.

The bell finally rang, and I headed straight to my car.

I picked up my phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?"

"Hi Elle."