Ace Huxley's Daughter

30

Beeping. Always beeping. Constant. At least there was a rhythm of some kind. One beep, two beep, double beep. I was going mad. I hate hospitals. I hate these fucking masks and the wires and the lights and the beeping. Sonny hadn't dropped my hand since the doctors backed off. They were watching. Passing by every 2 or 3 minutes and reading my numbers from the bottom of the bed. I was watching them too. I'd seen how low my O2 was when I got here.

"This green brings out your eyes." Okay. I've had enough. I grabbed at the plastic, tugging with the little energy I had to try and free my face. "No. Babe. You need to keep it on."

"It's pissing me off."

"I know. The more you keep it on the quicker it can be off though beautiful. Okay?" He took my hand away, holding it in one of his before repositioning the mask as it should be. "I think you should wear it all the time." I scowled at him, relaxing my shoulders as he kissed the sides of my hand. "You're gonna have some killer bruises."

"They always struggle to find my veins, especially when I'm like that. They usually have to go through my inner elbow."

"Ouch." I nodded. The door was practically pulled off its hinges.

"I'm here Cal." Dad looked so much taller right now. Towering over the bed, shadow covering half the room. He looked at the monitors, back to me, Sonny and then walked around to the other side of the bed. "What happened baby?"

"I don't know." I lied. I did. I had a panic attack and it triggered my breathing. That's it. Simple. Nothing for him to know about. "I'm okay dad."

"Callie, I have never heard you refer to an attack as bad before." He scowled. "What's all this?" He gestured to the different IVs.

"Fluids and access for the anxiety meds." Sonny stood up, taking the chair around to my dad.

"Anxiety-"

"She couldn't stop panicking so they had to chill her out so she wouldn't make it any worse. They came in 10 minutes ago and said her saturation level has gone up but not as much as they'd like it to have so they're just carrying on with the mask and the fluids. Waiting on the chest X-Ray coming back." Dad stared at him. I don't think he was expecting Sonny to have taken in so much information in the midst of the chaos. Honestly, I don't even know how he did. I don't know how I got here. I don't know how he was so fucking calm the entire time. Like he knew the exact time and date it was going to happen and like he knew step by step what he had to do.

"You sit down Emerson. I'm going to call you mum."

"Dad don't."

"She needs to know Pops. I won't let her fly out or cancel this trip early. You're okay here. She just needs to know you had an attack you're in hospital, you're recovering, we'll call her when you're out. I need to call Hannah and the band anyway. We were parked in some layby for the night when I jumped in the driver's seat and drove us down here."

"I thought you got in at 1am?"

"Some of the roadies did. We hung back halfway because Hannah read about a good spot to watch a meteor shower. We were 40 minutes up the road. I'm sorry Pops. I should have been there."

"Dad?"

"What babe?"

"Hannah's going to be shitting bricks." He rolled his eyes, placing a long hard kiss on my forehead. "You can tell her I'm wearing a gross lime green plastic mask and a hospital gown with no arse. I'm sure she'll love it."

"You look like a twat. Got it. Anything else?"

"Yeah. Don't forget your ear plugs for when you call mum." He rolled his eyes at me again, shaking his head before leaving the room.

"Don't you want to speak to your mum?"

"Lord no. I just got a get out of jail free card for the next 3 months. I could have him deal with all calls with her until then if I wanted to."

"You don't like your mum that much."

"What? Yeah I do."

"You're always shitting on her." I sighed. "And yet you do everything to keep her happy. It's a little messed up."

"She got pregnant with her now husband before she even filed for divorce with dad. Miscarried during all the mayhem and never really recovered. I hate that she put dad through that. Through the divorce and her cheating. But I'm her only kid you know? When I was drugged I was in hospital for a while and she nearly lost me. That's all it is. She just doesn't want to lose me. So, she takes things a little too far. She loved dad but touring and him being away and having girls begging for him constantly was too much for her. That paired with all the usual drugs and unplanned pregnancies and everything else that comes with this life is why she's so protective. It's gotten worse the older I've gotten though."

"So, you're just going to let it get worse?"

"I don't know Sonny. I really don't know. I don't want to. I don't want it. The 2.5 kids and the yoga and the fucking smoothies. I don't want that."

"So, what do you want?"

"To not have to decide." I laid my head back and sighed. One beep, two beep, double beep. "I know I have to. I know I have like 10 days until I have to decide. But both sides have shit sides to them right now."

"What's shit about this side?"

"Oh, I don't know, Blake, my mother wanting nothing to do with me, being on the road is exhausting."

"You don't have to be on the road Pops." I turned my head to face him, blinking slowly. "We're not saying you need to be on tour for this Callie to exist. You can live in a house and have her. This Callie isn't about being on a tour bus and backstage with her dad. She's making her own decisions rather than having her mother make them, painting because she wants to, singing because she wants to, flying out to see her dad and boyfriend because why the hell not." Yeah. Like this relationship is going to continue when I leave. No matter what I decide. "You need to make your life what you want to make it babe. Not let other people tell you how you're expected to live it." I'm exhausted. This whole thing is exhausting.

"Applying to uni is so fucking tedious. And how do I even find one I like?" Sonny grinned. The golden sprinkling of autumn leaves in his eyes glowing, smile lines digging in deep.

"You want to go back to uni?"

"I'm thinking about it. Okay?"

"We can look at it Pops. God, I'll do it all for you."

"You cannot apply to uni for me."

"I fucking can. Watch me."

"I haven't decided yet."

"Too late. I'm gonna apply for you. No harm in applying. If you decide not to then you can just not go. Simples." I could not go.

I could apply and decide later.

I could defer if I'm still not sure.

I don't have to cement my decision right now.

Shit.

"Fine. I'll apply."