⭒ DEATH ― kaz brekker ⭒

18 - Kaz

As much as I hate to admit it, part of the reason I'd refused to let Nina out of my sights after sending Matthias to the ballroom to go speak with Jarl Brum was because I was worried about Azalea. Then I lost Nina and Azalea is nowhere to be seen either, along with Matthias. Just as I was about to try and find a way to pick the lock to get inside the treasury and check to see if Matthias really had betrayed us, Nina and Matthias emerged with a figure I assume must be Bo Yul-Bayur. Then the lab blew up, which was not part of our plan at all. 

Now I stand, trying to improvise as I scan the area for signs of the three, to no avail while I pray that Wylan and Jesper have gotten to Inej in time, where Azalea must also be with a diamond of the correct size for my plan to work properly. My eyes land on the Ash Tree as I sprint through the halls, ignoring the pain in my weak leg that begs for me to slow my pace and give it a rest. Thoughts of Azalea invade my mind even now as I run for my life, Fjerdan guards coming into view left and right. 

I set the fuse to blow and watch as the Ash Tree falls with a loud thud, rolling slightly and revealing a large crater beneath its roots. I hear the Fjerdans shout in fury and horror as they see their precious tree on the ground, but before I know it, Nina, Matthias, the Shu boy that looks awfully young to be Bo Yul-Bayur and I are all diving into the darkness. As we plummet, I grab the Shu boy and shove the rubber of the baleen into his mouth as I hear the sound of water rushing beneath us. I wait to the very last moment before activating my baleen, letting the plastic film provide air for me the moment I feel the splash of water on my body. Then I'm submerged, the frigid water harsh and unforgiving with powerful currents.

I recount everything that has happened up until now, trying to stay calm and preserve the little air I have. Nina, Inej, and Azalea entering with the Menagerie. Wylan and Jesper sounding Black Protocol. Matthias effectively getting his mentor to believe he was still on his side so that we could save Nina.

And now, this.

My limbs are being thrown in all different directions as the water pushes all of us through the river, and I allow myself to feel a moment of triumph as I acknowledge that I was correct. If I hadn't been right about the water beneath the ground, then we'd have hit hard rock after the fall and our bodies would be splattered onto the earth for the rest of eternity.

Though I've heard that one's life can flash before their eyes as their life fades, but I've never experienced it. Until now, I suppose. Because vivid memories of my life are surging through my head nearly as quickly as the flow of the water I'm in. Reaper's Barge, the feeling of bloated, cold skin beneath my fingertips. The numbness of my legs that night as I kicked myself back to shore. The pain and the suffering until I finally found my place in the Dregs. Finding Inej in the Menagerie. Finding Jesper in that alleyway.

And Azalea. Always, my thoughts return to her.

The sight of her that first night, exiting the bar, her head tilted back, her eyes turned upwards as she gazed at the dark, midnight sky. The sharp line of her jaw and the graceful slope of her nose. The elegance of her every movement. The feeling of her hands cupping my face in the prison wagon, her lips pressed firmly against mine. Her lilting accent and the curve of her lips when she smiles. The arch of her brow and her dipped eyelashes.

Her pale violet eyes that have haunted me since I met her.

Death herself. 

Even as water begins to slowly bead around my lips, I remind myself that I have to survive. I must survive to tell Azalea, like she said I would, and like I said I would on the embassy roof when she gave me my leather gloves. Tell her what?

Tell her to touch you. Tell her you want to feel her fingers interlaced with yours at least one time before you die. That you want to memorize her eyes so you never forget her face. That you want her to stay by your side in Ketterdam. That you want her to kiss you one more time, just like that day in the prison cart. That you want her to teach you more about her Zemeni customs and more about her language. That you want her to keep talking, never stop talking, because you need to hear that accent one more time. That you want her.