013 : IT WASN'T A FILM

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I thought I watched a live film,
I thought I've been commanded by a director.
There's always a villain and struggles,
I thought, it's just scripted all along.

Tears were falling slowly
Hearts are shattering madly
I scream hard and harder
And the pain gets stronger and deeper

There's no director was there
It's only me and my nightmare
I realized the direction is near
I didn't care to see and hear

People don't see me as an actress
I don't know why they're selfish
I acted very well, I screamed to give them satisfaction
It's a film of tragedy, a work of fiction.

I wonder why they look at me with sad expression
They hold my hand and later hug me with affection
Crying like a baby saying words of inspiration
I wonder why... They're believing in fiction?

But then... I realized there's no camera around
Script writer and director can't be found
And the hug of these people sounds good
I cried when I realized, it wasn't a film at all.

I shouted when I realized my whole life wasn't just a film
All the tears, the screams and cries are all real
No one written it's script, no one make it a deal
I'm the one who's suffering it wasn't a fictional film.

A film can be directed by a director
But my life were unpredictable and miserable
A film can have a happy ending and live happily ever after
But mine can't be a film 'cause it doesn't know to live long longer.

Life isn't like a film...
Whatever it takes, life will never be beautiful as a film.

***

There's no date sa sinulatan ko. But I believe, this is year 2022.

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