(i'm worried) it will always be you

Chapter 14 - They weren't always the wrong person

Saturday, July 18th, 2015. First day of Freshman orientation at North Carolina State University.

Sapnap was an eighteen-year-old virgin.

But if anyone asked, he's totally not. He'd tell a story about losing his virginity in high school, age sixteen, with the girl he took to prom. It was almost the truth, except his dad's incessant calling ruined the mood and she asked him to take her home.

After Sapnap almost broke curfew, he wasn't allowed to go to school dances anymore, so the opportunity didn't arise again.

But anyway, that wasn't important. Sapnap was in college now- well, about to be in college, which meant he was bound to lose his virginity and the looming knowledge of his v-card's existence would soon be gone.

In a pathetic way, he found it pretty comforting to know his best friend and soon-to-be roommate, Dream, was also a virgin. Dream got the same story about how Sapnap 'lost' his virginity as everyone else, but Sapnap always knew that Dream didn't believe it the way his friends from home did.

Dream had always known him better though- been able to hear the hitch in his voice when he told a lie, the slightly lower volume he'd speak in when his dad was in one of his moods, or why Sapnap would be so quiet and refuse to turn his camera on the day after he didn't do well on a test.

Sapnap never had to tell Dream those things, he just picked up on them over the years. Sapnap could only guess how well Dream would be able to read him once they were living together- actually existing in the same space.

"Your return flight is Monday morning and Carmella is going to pick you up from the airport."

Sapnap opened his eyes, letting out a slow exhale.

I know. You've told me that five hundred fucking times this week.

"Yes, sir." Sapnap kept his voice monotone, but flashed his dad a half smile to avoid being accused of giving an attitude, which would inevitably result in his dad driving them back home and him missing out on college orientation.

His dad gave him a nod, grabbing Sapnap's backpack from the back seat, and handing it off to him. Sapnap accepted it and got out of the car, closing the door without saying goodbye.

Goodbyes were hard for them now. It had only been a few days since they all arrived back in the US after his γιαγιά's (English to Greek translation: grandma's) funeral. Sapnap was taking the loss pretty hard, as was his younger brother, but the way his dad was taking it was almost insufferable.

Everyone grieves differently, there's no right or wrong way to do it. It's not Sapnap's place to understand why his dad is grieving like this, but Sapnap was worn thin from the displaced anger.

With his backpack heavily weighing on his shoulders and the airport lines at a standstill, Sapnap was beginning to feel his adrenaline dwindling. He'd been in and out of airports more in the last month than his entire life.

He couldn't wait until August, when he could board his final plane to North Carolina, and he'd be staying in one place for at least a few months- hopefully longer if he could convince his family that coming home for Thanksgiving wasn't necessary.

Queues moved at a snail's pace, he was about two hours early for his flight, and his phone was already half dead by the time he boarded. Sapnap was so burnt out, he was fairly certain he was asleep before the plane even reached full altitude.

The city of Raleigh was everything he hoped it would be.

Honestly, anything was better than the rundown small town Sapnap had spent his entire life in. The thing that made Raleigh so perfect was the fact it was new.