𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆~ 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃

𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔢

     As I sat there and started writing hoping that this would take a dead weight that's been on me for what in my mind felt like years. I never thought I would be here. As in writing about the love of my life and how much it hurts now that he's not in my life. I've felt this void as though I lost a part of myself. And the scariest part is that it may never go away. 

"Lo, are you ok you've been sitting there for like 2 hours "I snapped out of my trans that i was in while I was writing. I was trying so hard to finish this, but I felt stuck on the second verse. I had gotten my chorus down already. "Actually, can you help me with the second verse Lu?" I ask looking up at him. "Yes of course let me see it."

He sat next to me on the green coach. Looking over to me "Lorena are you sure you're ok."I just laughed him off. Then I started to look down at what I had just written. "Ok, it seems more depressing than it should but i'm fine i promise."

[Verse 1]

Hold on, I never meant you any harm

Got no legs to stand on

I was just dancin' in the dark

Now with my eyes wide open

It's Heaven in your arms, hmm

Hold on, I never meant to start a war

I was just dead wrong

I know we've been in this before

Now with my eyes wide open

I tore you right apart, ah-ah-hmm )

"See i have my first verse but i'm not sure what else and i know it's super sad but i swear i'm fine i swear." I said as I looked up at luke. "I've told you Lorena if you need to talk I'm here for you" he went to grab my hand and he looked back down at my writing. 

[Chorus]

Call me in the morning

Yeah, I'm sorry that I let you down, ah-ah-ah

I'm so apathetic it's pathetic

But I need you now, now )

"I think I know who this is about but just tell m e in what direction you want to take this into. Like do you want it to be flipped on him or do you like the way it is about how you feel after the break up, or do you want it to be like how you hope he feels now that y'all are over?" I sat there eyes wide looking at not know how to reply to what felt like very loaded question. "Uh i think mainly how i felt the day he left. And how guilty It really made me feel at the end of the day." He nodded his head and we started writing again.

 [Verse 2]

Sun's gone, but you always liked this time of day

( It was his favorite time to go out. We always said that people probably thought we hated the sun or something.) 

No words left to play on

How many chances does it take?

Now with my eyes wide open

I'm nothing but a fake )

" I think I want the bridge to be in harmony." I told Luke looking over at him.''Yeah i can totally do that with you or maybe ash if you want it a little higher?" I nod my head indicating that we can talk about it later.

[Bridge]

Hmm
Don't you move
Can't we just stay?
Can we start over?
Don't fade away)

"I wish I could talk to him, Lu . I still love him so much and I wish I could tell him.'' I spoke so slowly, almost too scared to say what I was thinking out loud. His response was simply a tight comforting hug.

 [Outro]

'Cause you'll always have a place in me (Hmm)

You'll always have a place in me)

"This is so beautiful and raw Lorena, I want you to know that if you ever need anything I'm here. I'm not him, no one could ever replace him in your mind or heart , but i could help you cope with not having him . I  love you so much Lorena we all do."

All I can do is nod my head. I feel my eyes stinging with the tears but there's nothing coming out. I feel my mind swirl with words that I could spill out and tell him but nothing comes out of my mouth. And right then and there I know it's a panic attack. All I do is lock eyes with Luke and he knows. He comes and hugs me with pressure.

"You're ok, it's all ok . Look at the green couch, look at the blue clouds. Breath in breath out Lorena. You're doing so good." Then slowly I was able to calm down and hug him back. 

 " Lu sorry I think I need more coffee and maybe a cigarette." I told him while trying to move my legs to wake them up. He laughed and shook his head offering his hand to me so I could stand. "If you need to go for some coffee, take my car." I nodded my head taking the Keys and heading towards the car.

* Calum's Pov **

I took the last drag from my cig and headed toward the room. I didn't call Luke, but he never minds when we show up unannounced. As I walked through the door, I could smell that floral scent that was basically engraved in my brain. My body immediately tensed and started searching for her. 

"Dude, why are you here? Why didn't you call, you can't just show up like this." Luke immediately started as soon as I fully came in. Rolling my eyes, I start "mate chill I just wanted to hang out and Ashton couldn't so you're the next best thing." As I'm done with my explanation I plop down on the coach, as I look over, I see a notebook. Grabbing it, I started reading it. "Cal give me tha-" Luke started but he was too late. I knew that handwriting. Tears started in my eyes as I read the paper. 

Slowly I look up and make eye contact with luke. "Di- did she write this about me." I ask slowly, looking back down at the paper. It's silent then I hear the quietest voice.

"Yeah I did cal."