Show Yourself To Me

CHAPTER 6: "Rain"

Chapter 6

"Hoooy!!!" Natatawang saway ko sa kaniya after a few hours natapos na kaming kumain at niyaya niya na akong umuwi.

I was about to get up nang makuha ng pansin ko sa isang restaurant a meter away from this coffe shop

Through the glass beside me where I'm sitting I notice the familliar face of this man hes there sitting with a woman infront of him I change my gaze from him to the woman sitting infront of him and notice how elegant and beautiful she is with a white dress, her dress is very simple pero maganda ang pagkakadala niya dito I observe her from head to toe, her foot is crossed while her hand is holding a cup and i was about to look at her face but she suddenly get up and go to the counter never giving me the chance to look at her but maybe it was a cue to me, to help not to feel insecure about myself

And again i look at the man thats when i realize... As he look at her with admiration while shes walking elegantly away from him... it hit me he love that girl and come to think of it, her back even feel famillar i laugh bitterly as i continue to observe them he's different... very different, from the way he treat me different from the gaze he gave me he's a meter away from me but through his eyes I can tell that hes so happy to see her again hes eyes shine under the light inside, his face is so serious but his eyes is full with admiration, mesmerition and affection toward her I can see it all

Kung gaano pumikit at magningning ang kaniyang mata ay ganon naman ang sakit na nararamdaman ng aking puso kada tibok na binibitawan nito

"Tara na"

The way he's eyeslashes move
the way he's gaze toward her change
from being cold to something I want him to feel toward me, it hurts, it hurts cause
I hope he look at me the way he look at her

"Hooyy cathy tara na" nabawi ang atensyon ko kay brent na kanina pa pala nakatayo sa tabi ko oo nga pala kailangan na naming umalis

"Ano... ayos ka lang ba?" nagaalalang tanong niya napansin niya yata na para akong balisa kanina

Nang bumalik sa katinuan ay tumayo na ako "Uhm...oo naman tara na"

Dumating akong magaan at masaya ngayon naman na tinutulak ko ang pintuan palabas ng caffe ay aalis akong maraming dalang lungkot, pighati at hinagpis kani kanina lang ay ang saya ko ngayon ay tumatawa nalang ako ng hindi nalalaman kung ano ba ang pinagsasabi ng kasama ko i feel like my knees is giving up habang tumatawid kami ni brent sa pedestrian line. I look above and i feel like the clouds is carrying a lot of water in it and im waiting for it to drop but in fact the sun is setting that why its getting darker but i hope it really rain so i can make an excuse to be out here all nigh so i can stay here alone... i hope it rain

Ng nasa bus station na kami ay niyaya akong ihatid ni brent pero tumangi agad ako

"Hindi cathy ihahatid na kita" pagpupumilit pa nito

"No brent its okay matatagalan pa ako mauna ka na tyaka kailangan ko pang huminto sa grocery store kasi may pinapabili si mama" pagsisinungaling ko sa kaniya para umalis na siya

"Wag mo kong lukuhin cathy gabi na oh anong oras na tara na ihahatid na kita" nag aalalang sabi niya at nag pupumilit parin na ihatid ako hindi talaga maloko tong lalaking to

"Hindi kita linuluko kailangan ko ngang huminto malapit sa grocery store kasi may pinapabili si mama sakin para kay ate" naiinis na sabi ko sa kaniya and i know that he will let me go this time kasi it was my sister that were talking now

"Uuwi ate mo" tanong nito saakin ng mahinahon pero alam ko na puno ito ng pag aalala sakin now that my sister is going home it means that everyone attention will be at her ganon naman palagi ma pa nandiyan ang ate ko o wala na sa kaniya parin lahat ng pag aalaga at pagmamahal ng pamilya ko

I nod at her question and smile bitterly nang may dumaan na bus ay pinasakay ko na siya mamaya pa dadating ang bus na papunta sa aming bahay kaya pag hinatid niya ako ay kailangan niya na namang maghantay ng ilang oras bago makabalik sa kanila before he get on to the bus ay tumingin mo na siya sakin "wag kang magpapagabi tawagan mo ako pag naka rating ka na" tumango lang ako sa sinabi niya

Alam ko naman eh na kahit mag pagabi ako dito walang ni isa ang mag aalala sakin galing sa bahay mom wouldn't even bother texting me where i am kung ibang araw siguro tatawag yun para tanungin kung asan ako pero hindi eh kasi araw to na uuwi ang paborito niyang anak paborito nilang anak

Im their younger daughter pero it sad to say na umiikot ang mundo nila sa oldest one

Ngumiti ako ng napaka pait at tumingin sa kalangitan pati ang kalawakan wala sa tabi ko wala man lang ni isang bituwin ngayon para pagmasdan ako wala man lang buwan para ilawan ang mukha kong nagmamasid ngayon sa kalangitan i sigh very long and look down at my foot a drop of tears suddenly escape from my eyes along from that tears is the water that drop from the sky itinaas ko ang aking kamay and look at the sky one by one water keep dropping i guess the clouds is still with me

Since its raining

Its always the rain that comfort me i lean my back at the wall behind me and close my eyes thats when his image flash in my mind hes showing his self to me the image flash like a tape in my head and his smile suddenly disappear i hope you never show yourself to me

so i can still assume that you are the one that will forever be my comfort and home i hope i woke up tomorrow and realize that you were still a dream of mine

I open my eyes and hopped on when a bus stop by i look at the window and notice a black rolls-royce sweptail car behind, its slowing down like it was watching someone but then again it was raining maybe it was just being careful kaya hindi mabilis ang pag papa andar i shrugged at hindi nalang ito pinansin