solo / carlos sainz

seven

When I return, Bluey backpack slung over my shoulder and Elsie walking beside me, the headmistress is gone but Carlos isn't. 

We walk together, side by side, to the entrance of the school. I catch him looking over at me a few times, he isn't exactly subtle with the way he stares, but I can't think of anything to say that wouldn't embarrass the both of us.

"Thank you." I finally say. "Headmistress Alvarez and I...we don't get along."

Carlos nods once, looking a bit contemplative. "If you don't mind me asking," he pauses, glancing at Elsie as if to confirm whatever he's about to say is something he can say around her. "Is it because you're a single mother?"

"What gave it away? The emphasis on 'señorita' when Alvarez shouted at me?" My joke doesn't seem to land how I'd wanted it, with Carlos now looking a bit concerned. "Sorry, um, yes, it's because I'm, yeah."

"He didn't stay?"

I shake my head, glancing at Elsie. She's not paying us any mind, wandering a few steps ahead of us, skipping over cracks in the sidewalk as we head to the heladería around the corner from the flat. Her hair's especially wild today, a curly mess down her back with the bow I'd put in this morning half fallen out.

"He didn't know. He still doesn't know...el padre de Elsie fue un rollo de una noche. I couldn't pick him out of a lineup."

When Carlos turns his attention back to Elsie, she's lost her interest in avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk and is now pointing out random things and naming them in Spanish. "She's five?"

"Nearly. Her birthday's the thirteenth of December." As soon as we round the corner to the ice cream shop, Elsie's off like an Olympic sprinter, weaving through people on the sidewalk til she's through the door and planted in front of the shop's owner, Bianca.

Used to her routine, I don't flinch. Carlos, on the other hand, looks ready to bolt after her. It's only when I place a reassuring hand on his forearm that he seems to remember himself and settle down. "Five years is a long time."

"Well," I shrug, "I'm in it for a lifetime. And as difficult as it's been, I don't think I'd change anything if given the chance."

If someone had told me when I'd first found out I was pregnant that I would be telling a handsome man I hardly knew all this while my daughter harassed her favourite ice cream store, I would have laughed in their face. And cussed them out for good measure.

When I go to enter the shop, Carlos lingers outside, glancing around for a moment before stepping in behind me.

"Buenas tardes Bianca, ¿qué tal?"

She's got her back to us as we enter the shop. With vibrant red hair and a good six inches on me in height, she'd intimidated the hell out of me. It wasn't until she met Elsie, who'd been hiding behind my skirt, that I found out the woman is a big softie.

She's pulling out Elsie and I's usual, a premade package she keeps waiting in the freezer with a bottle of sparkling water waiting to be opened on the counter. It'd taken two Fridays for her to recognise our pattern and build a response of her own.

"Hola maja, English today?" The other way we'd bonded was through language. My Spanish, while stronger than most, still has a bit of an accent to it and she'd clocked it immediately. Instead of giving me grief, though, she'd asked if I would be willing to speak with her in English as a bit of practice.

I'd agreed, so long as she'd keep speaking in Spanish with Elsie.

"Of course. Bianca, I'd like you to meet my friend, Carlos. Carlos, this is Bianca. Her shop has the best ice cream in all of Madrid." Bianca turns, blanching slightly at the sight of the three of us standing there. "Everything alright?"

She fumbles with the bag of ice cream, having to readjust the grip she's got on it twice before it's handed down to Elsie's eager little hands. "Yes. I was just surprised."

"Right. Well, how much do I owe you?" I pull out my wallet, tapping it on the counter as she begins to ring me up, "Oh, actually, Carlos? Do you want anything? My treat."

"I'll share with you!" Elsie exclaims, shaking the bag of ice cream so aggressively that Carlos has to take it from her before the paper can rip. "We share, Mummy."

Absent a refusal from Carlos, I take that as an acceptance and hand Bianca the needed cash. "Alright, same time next week, Bianca?" She doesn't respond, already turned away and doing something on her phone. "Sorry, she's not normally like that," I tell Carlos as we step out of the shop and back onto the street.

The streets have only just begun to fill with people, with most schools out now and the weekend truly beginning. Elsie's decided to try and grab the bag from Carlos, something he holds onto long enough for her to give up in exchange of a small tantrum.

"Shit, um, I should get her home for a N-A-P before she has a total breakdown..." We're only a minute or two from the flat...then again, do I know Carlos enough to trust him with my home address?

I pull out my phone, quickly opening up the contact card Carlos had filled out in Portugal and hitting the dial icon. When his phone begins to ring, I end the call and give him a smile. "Now you have my number."

"Do you actually want me to call you?"

Yes. No. I don't know and honestly, I don't think I'll know until I have a chance to actually talk to you about something other than my daughter, "Why don't you call me and find out?"

My effort at being coy is partially ruined by Elsie's quick rip of the ice cream bag from Carlos's hands before she tries to bolt. I catch her by the waist, hauling her up into my arms with an embarrassed laugh.

"¡Adiós Carlos!" Elsie half screams as I walk off with her wriggling in my arms. "Mummy, you're strong."

"Thank you, sprout."