solo / carlos sainz

twenty-five

I don't talk to my family. They haven't heard from me since Elsie's first birthday.

She knows she's got grandparents, she knows they exist, but that's about it. She doesn't have a relationship with them...but I've never spoken poorly about them so...it makes sense that she's excited to see them.

My decision to not burn that bridge is starting to become one I regret.

When I found out I was pregnant, my entire life changed.

In a matter of seconds, I went from being my family's pride and joy to their darkest secret.

The Walsh family doesn't allow dark secrets. Their position in high society, a bullshit archaic system they all hate but refuse to leave behind, doesn't allow dark secrets.

But...they were my family. I grew up in their world, living the role assigned to me.

I followed the social calendar to a tee. Cheltenham in March, Grand National and Salon Privé in April, the entire month of May in Cotwolds, polo and horse racing in June, Wimbledon in July, art shows and boating in August, boarding school and skiing and galas the rest of the year.

Day in, day out, I lived the life my parents designed. But when I stepped out of bounds, when I decided to keep my pregnancy and become a mother, the wall slammed down and locked me out.

When I publicised Elsie's birth, something I'd sworn I wouldn't do, my family's social standings tanked. Everyone assumed they'd known and hidden my pregnancy. Which, they had, but they didn't want anyone to know that.

So, they became Elsie's biggest fans. They gave her a nickname and brought her up every chance they got and I thought I'd been brought back.

I thought the wall had lifted and I'd been made whole again.

Until Elsie's first birthday, when I overheard my parents discussing when they could 'most reasonably send the blemish away'.

When I'd asked my sister, sobbing and scared and worried for my daughter, she'd already known. She scolded me for being so naïve. "She's a blemish on our reputation, Mara, surely you understand."

That was my breaking point. That was the day I lost a sister and gained an enemy.

And now that enemy is waving at me from across the street, carrying a bright pink princess themed gift bag and wearing a massive smile.

"Oh my days, Marbella! I've missed you so much!"

My sister hasn't changed a bit. She's sweet and smiley and everything I was at her age...which means she cares about one thing and one thing only. Her reputation.

I let her pull me into a haughty exchange of air kisses, her hot pink nails digging into the bare skin of my arms as she moves me left and right.

If Amira were here, she'd scream.

"Capri, hello. What a nice surprise." I fucking hate surprises. I didn't hate them before but now I definitely do. "Elsie, say hello to Capri. Sorry, Aunt Capri."

Elsie's got one hand gripping the leg of Carlos's trousers, hiding herself behind him with big baby cow eyes.

"Yes, hello Elsie darling. Carlos, it's so nice to finally meet you." She's got on her society voice. I hate that voice. She learned it from me.

Carlos, bless his soul, doesn't notice Capri's spoken to him because he's too busy whispering words of encouragement to Elsie. She's yet to separate herself from him, hiding more and more as Capri comes closer.

My sweet little angel. I'll need to buy her a new Bluey-themed something to reward her intuition. And I definitely need to do something to reward the absolute star of a father Carlos is proving to be.

"They're quite close." She mutters, her voice dropping an octave.

I roll my eyes, "What do you want, Pri?"

"Have you finished your little bout of rebellion yet?"