solo / carlos sainz

twenty-nine

NOTE: as much as I, personally, would love to write this entire scene in Spanish (since that is what most of the dialogue would be spoken in), I know there are plenty of readers that don't speak the language and I also know how much of a hassle it can be to constantly go to the comments for translations, so this chapter is entirely in English! I'll resume my usual practice of writing in Spanish and English next chapter! <3, Behlys

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"Mara, some of us were wondering...and you don't need to answer this, but how did you choose Elsie's name?"

We're all seated around the firepit, joined by some of Carlos's old friends and the entirety of his close family, sitting in the backyard as the late sunset begins to give way to darkness.

His sister, Blanca, is the one to ask but it doesn't feel like a loaded question. The last few days with Carlos's family have been so far from the way mine operates...it's been incredibly refreshing.

Carlos presses a soft kiss to my hand, moving it to adjust the way my legs are laid out across his lap. It occurs to me that I've never told this story, not even to Carlos, and a flash of guilt hits me.

"Well, Elsie was born on Santa Lucía's feast day, the thirteenth of December...Santa Lucía is...sorry, I feel like this needs a bit more of an explanation."

I sit up a bit, swinging my legs off Carlos's lap but keeping my hand in his as I speak.

"I lived in Madrid for my last year of university and it was everything I could have wanted. I had this amazing network of friends and an interesting degree and a job all lined up...but I was sick all the time. I'd stopped drinking in the lead up to exams but still woke up every morning feeling like I'd been hit by a truck."

"And I grew up Catholic, so I thought, well, I might as well go to church and see if I could find support to help me through whatever this mystery illness was."

"When I got there, I ended up praying in front of Santa Lucía for three hours... not on purpose but because it was the least crowded spot there...and when I got up, a nun was there waiting for me." I wipe away the tears welling in my eyes, "She told me that God had a plan for me that required resilience...and she told me that being a mother would be the most rewarding and painful experience of my life."

"To be honest, I'm not religious any longer, I fell out of love with it so long ago...but something about what she said, it hit me right here." I pat my chest, the pain of the memory I'm recounting radiating through me like a shockwave. "I didn't know I was pregnant...but she did. God did. And so...when Elsie was born and she looked at me with those big brown eyes and the sun went right across her face, I knew she was my Lucía."

"She's your light," Reyes quietly adds, smiling softly and holding onto Carlos Senior the same way I'm holding onto her son.

I nod, looking at Carlos with a watery smile. He pulls me close, tucking me into his side, and the feeling of contentment that it brings me tells me that the struggle I'd been promised was finally over.

As everyone begins to get up and head inside, Carlos pulls out his phone, paging through photos from the last week. "I'm going to post these, if that's alright with you." It's a series of photos he and I had taken, photos of dinner and wakeboarding and me and him and Elsie...it's the kind of photo dump I'd usually post.

"I love it," I sigh, carding my hands through his hair with a smile. "And I love you."

It feels right to say that now. I'd caught Carlos saying it to Elsie earlier today, as he was doing her hair and helping her pick out a bathing suit for the boat. Since being told or I since having confirmation that Carlos is her father, Elsie's gone to him for everything.