A is for ASSHOLE, you know, that word I shout at him as I
drive by.B is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things
between them do work out. I can’t think of two better
losers to get off the streets.C is for Call ya later. He won’t. He never has before.
C is also for competing. “I feel worse than you do, you
can shovel the walk.”D is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?
E is for Eating like a pig. God, does he always have to
know what the bottom of the bowl looks like?F is for foreplay. Yes, I know he doesn’t know what it
is, that’s why it’s on the list.F is for forgetting my birthday, you jerk.
G is for Guys. Who he was supposedly out with, and also
who wears perfume like mine.H is for Horny. He always is, except when I am.
I stands for ignorant, slobbering jerk.
J stands for jerk off. Yes, that’s what he can do tonight,
because I won’t do it for him.K stands for kiss, something he can’t do without slobbering
down his tongue and on my face.L is for Love. It’s a great euphoric feeling that exists
somewhere in fantasy land.M stands for Mephistophiles. That is who he imitates.
N stands for No, a word he never seems to understand.
O is for “Oh, was it your birthday last week?”
P is for pee, what he does out in public in the front yard
because he forgot when he walked past the bathroom.Q is for quote, “My birthday is next Thursday,” unquote.
(See F and O)R is for reminding, because I have to remind him of all
holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.S stands for stood up. Something he thinks I will forget
about.S is also or sex. Something he won’t get later because I
remember the previous S.T is for torture. Where do I start?
U is for Understatement. Saying you hate that fucking
asshole is an understatement.V is for vermin–most of his family.
W stands for whine, need I say more.
X is for ex, the one he never shuts up about.
Y stands for younger, and wishing he was.
Z (I know where z is) Z stands for zip, that’s what I got
from him.
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It's a Funny Story
Humor◇Completed◇ Need a laugh. You are now entering Funny World. Where you can laugh your heart out. Cover by: lamorphine