Ashes in the Heart (Editing)

At the End of the Road

Life was never easy for me... I had to grow and adapt to a world that I had not chosen, I came from a completely bankrupt family and without any type of economic structure that led me to take an unstable path in its entirety and with more setbacks than triumphs. But ¿who would have thought that behind all those falls and sufferings, everything would have a purpose? Being in many processes, I thought that life liked to play a very cruel and unfair game for many mortals, but in the midst of so many blows and knockouts that I received, I understood that the force of each one of those punches hurt less and less with time. To pass the time. Perhaps life was not as unfair as she believed, perhaps she had had to learn that way, because it was not for nothing that she was much more knowledgeable than any terrestrial who stepped on this mundane earth.

I could tell that she understood the method in which life taught us certain rules of survival, since the world she was born into was full of horrors and very cruel monsters. That was the shell with which he protected the weakest and most naive of us, it was at that point that I stopped complaining and allowed time to do its job. And although many blows no longer hurt as before, others had a hard time healing, I kept remembering with a bitter taste in my mouth the day I was completely kidnapped by one of my biggest nightmares, in a way my mind had given me blows reality where more concrete scenes came to my memory. I remembered the feeling of seeing my life on the verge of death, I remembered his blows and that sharp look on his face, there was pleasure mixed with malice.

Everything was empty and neutral, full of light and dark tones where nothingness predominated and where I found myself lost despite having reached the end of my journey, frankly since the day my parents had been deported, having to leave home. Between tears, regrets and promises that never came true, it was just the tip of an iceberg of consequences that would gradually break my weak and innocent heart. From that day on, I knew that my life would not have a happy ending like that of any average girl.

When the immigration agents took our parents, extreme poverty reached our home. I was barely 11 years old, defenseless and exposed to a world so big and vast where with little chance two little girls wouldn't have much of a chance to survive. survive, we climb many rungs where many times the expectations can be tougher than the challenges themselves. We advance beyond our own limits; we manage to overcome even our greatest discouragements without lowering our heads at any time.

When I was 15 years old and already turned into a lady, I began small attacks of frustration where I felt the absence of my parents much more strongly and, like every fragile stage that every adolescent goes through, I had devastating moments where I came to think that life was not worth living, I felt like the most fragile and small flower that such an immense garden can have, exposed to the abrupt and devastating stormy wind that constantly wandered unsteadily. It was very difficult that mental struggle that bothers me just for gloomy fun and although I was never alone because I always had the help of my sister Anna, with the passing of the years I was digesting each dry drink that crossed my forehead.

I remember feeling the sunlight shining on my face and looking at my beautiful husband next to me feeling the need to always somehow remember everything that I had lived through, not only to realize how valuable mine were and how far I had come, but for those scary days where we tend to see problems as an impenetrable and invincible adversary. Writing and patiently analyzing everything that happened brought back memories that gave joy to my heart, that life so simple but rude for a defenseless girl led me to suffer many things, but at the same time it made me make decisions that eventually gave its fruit. Arriving in Rhode Island at the age of 15 made me open my eyes and realize all the opportunities that the city offered me, that life really was not only based on that little cardboard box in which I lived, but that there was much beyond that. what my eyes could appreciate, well said is that saying that the first years are the most difficult but time is generous and I was not wrong because although Bianca, Anna and I suffered a lot at the beginning, then everything turned around when I turned, I came of age and got my first job at Mr. Mike's store, I could help my sister pay the bills and make ends meet. Mr. Mike talked a lot about his past, but if someone represented the true meaning of kindness it was him, he filled all the spaces that that word could monopolize and although in the beginning Anna and he had a short romance and things were not good in their relationship Mr. mike never left us.