The Beginning of The End

Chapter Sixteen

*Thank you all for reading, I appreciate each and every one of you! Have an amazing day darlings*

You spent that night tucked into Mina's side. You didn't plan to go to bed with her but after seeing her breakdown you didn't feel right denying her. You were still angry, but it was a distant anger. You pulled from the memories of your "dreams" reminding yourself that all of the horrific things you saw actually happened. 

You knew Mina wasn't perfect, far from actually. And you'd never admit it but you kind of liked that about her. She was soft, but only for you. It made you feel special. You knew that thought alone made you a bad person, but it was hard to care when you had a beautiful woman worshiping you like you were a God. 

Mina was manipulative, conniving, and selfish. You knew that, and despite the act you put on you knew not much had changed. When you first met her she was ruthless in her attempts to control and possess you, obviously going as far as to drug, kidnap, and isolate you. 

You really wanted to believe that she had truly changed and would never do things like that again, but you had your doubts. You couldn't help but wonder if her sudden 'change of heart' was real or just another more creative way to ensure you'd never leave her. Did she actually open up to you or did she just pretend she did to lure you further into her grasp? 

You thought back to all the moments where she was vulnerable with you... she couldn't fake all of that. Right? 

All of the self-growth she displayed... that couldn't just be a show for you. Right? 

You shook your head trying to get your brain to shut up. Of course, Mina was honest with you, she loved you. Okay so maybe she did change. But was it really change if you knew she'd probably go back to her old ways if you left her? Hell, she was probably plotting to kill Cordelia already. If Cordelia wasn't a witch, she'd probably already be dead. That thought should terrify you. And it did, but for the wrong reasons. 

The thought of Cordelia's death was enough to send you into a spiral but if it were anyone else you'd probably find Mina's territorial nature kind of hot. Which was disgusting. You were disgusted with yourself. How could you find murder sexy? You didn't, not the act in itself at least...but how far Mina was willing to go for you. She'd do literally anything for you. You were pretty sure that if you asked her to make someone 'disappear' she'd do it in a heartbeat... and probably take pleasure in doing it. Which was disturbing. 'But kind of hot' your mind added. 'wtf is wrong with me'. 

That caused an entire new slew of thoughts. Could you really judge her for her ways when some of them turned you on. Surely you were no better. But you couldn't help it. All of your life you felt invisible, and having Mina make you the center of her world and be willing to do anything to protect you and make you happy... well you couldn't resist that. You felt special, desired, and loved. You wondered if she loved you enough to let you go. Would she truly do anything to ensure your happiness? Even if that meant she was no longer a part of your life?

Then there was Delia. You'd grown a bit attached to your 'dream' woman in general but now finding out she was actually real... it was a whole new level of fucked. You had memories with her, but it was a distant like you were watching a movie rather than experiencing firsthand. You knew you felt safe with her, something about being around her just felt right. Being around Mina was like having every cell of your body vibrating. It was exhilarating but exhausting. Being around Cordelia was peaceful, calm. Her presence was soothing, it made all of your racing thoughts come to focus. You wouldn't say you loved her, but you could definitely see yourself being able to love her. She was gorgeous, and kind, and soft but something about her also commanded respect. Like she didn't have to be so aggressive and forceful like Mina because she already knew she had control of the situation. Most of all she was understanding. She was even understanding to Mina when she certainly didn't deserve it. She was willing to keep quiet about everything until Mina was ready. The only reason it came out was because she wasn't willing to lie to you, which in itself made you swoon a bit. You were angry she kept the secret but how mad could you really be that she was trying to be a decent person.