Living is always better with you by my side | Choni

I'll love you wherever i go

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The machine marked a steady pace through the night. At first, it unnerved Cheryl. Hearing her own pulse, her life source, filtered down to an insignificant beep, it didn't leave her entirely comfortable.

But soon enough, she became used to it. Unlike her nurses or her wife Toni the sound was a constant and a relief. As long as her heart was beating, the sound would be there.

But with that she began to latch onto it, holding onto every beat. It reminded her that she wasn't dead, that she was still there, even when she faded in and out.

Toni would visit with a plastic smile, a false cheery tone. Like everything was going to be okay, but no one knew for certain. Cheryl had lung cancer and they caught it late, but the doctors were doing everything they could and she was grateful for that.

It was times like this, that she wished she had a better relationship with her mother. Since her father and twin brother died it's had just been her until she met Toni in high school. Her mother took a turn for the worst when her father passed and hadn't treated her the same since.

Cheryl believed that maybe her mother became more distant with her after she found out she had cancer because she didn't want to lose her like she did with her dad and Jason.

She learned to accept that her mother wasn't going to be around but that didn't mean she wanted it that way.

The redhead lost her train of thought when she heard Toni moving around in the armchair, in the corner of the room. Her wife would always be here with her when she came into the hospital for check ups and the redhead appreciated it more than she knew.

"You can go home you know TT. Can't imagine that chair being more comfortable than our bed" she smiled at her as best as she could.

The brunette was about to protest and shake her head like she always does before Cheryl continued.

"Really it's fine, you can go, it's getting late. As long as you come pick me up in the morning to come home"

Toni sighs knowing her wife won't take no for an answer. "Fine and I'll take you to get breakfast as well at pops" she sat up and walked over to Cheryl in the hospital bed. "Get some rest okay and I'll see you in the morning" she gently kisses her forehead.

Cheryl nods lightly with a plastered smile "I will. Goodnight TT"

Toni says goodnight back and quietly shuts the door behind her, she leans back against it and some tears fall but she quickly wipes them away. She had to be strong for Cheryl.

The redhead leans back into the hospital bed and lets her own tears fall.

She wasn't afraid of death. But what she was afraid of, was not knowing what day would be her last. Not knowing if she would ever see Toni again, cause the hardest part of it all was leaving her.

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Toni didn't know if she liked time going so fast.

It felt like since Cheryl got diagnosed 3 months ago that time had gone incredibly fast.

It was the too fast kisses, and the fleeting smiles followed by something new. It was grabbing Cheryl's hand and pulling her into a sudden adventure, then seamlessly and sometimes simultaneously into another one.

It was laughing till it hurt and crying till it felt like her eyes were bleeding, and it was all too fast. Too fast to process.

It was movie nights and skinny dipping in the redhead's old mansion pool. It was a clink of bottles and the snap of a camera. It was feeling sparks dance along her skin, and her heart speed up till it felt it might jump right out of her chest.