Happy To Live

Chapter 18

After Karly's funeral I mentally checked out, Karly and I had been best friends, lovers, we were everything to one another. My spouses waited for me to show signs of grief, I didn't, I wasn't sure how too. The only woman I had loved betrayed me; her attacker used me to kill her. I wanted to hate Karly, to forget about her, but I couldn't. I would always love her, promising myself I would get my revenge for Karly, for her children, for Yoongi. Wonho let Karly go the moment I marked her as mine, although I felt nothing for Karly in the end physically. Emotionally she was still my lover, I vowed to never let another woman as close to me as Karly once was.

"Mom, told me he placed chips in your wrist to track your location." Dae was still to young to fully understand what had happened, why he also placed a chip in his own wrist. The children were to small to have that kind of technology in their bodies, so he placed the chips into Dae's tablet, telling him to keep it a secret between the three of us. Dae had access to both of our locations at all times.

"Yes, my prince, Daddy did it because he wants you to always know where we are at." I kissed his temple, watching his siblings play.

"It's our secret." Dae giggled, playing Minecraft on his tablet.

"Aunty Havey, can you please tell Zuri to share her toys." I smiled at Violet, she had her mothers eyes, my heart ached for her, I never wanted Karly's children to be motherless. Zuri pouted, handing Violet her toy.

"Daddy Dohwan!" Dae smiled excitedly waving at him.

"Hey kid, mind if hang out with you all?" Dohwan pulled Dae onto his lap watching him play his game. Dae was going on nine years old, and he had already killed a man, I worried about what the future brough him. He was the first born, the main heir to everything we built. I wanted to be a child a little while longer. We all did, we wanted all of our children to have a happy childhood.

I had caught Yoongi and Jenna fucking again, I was envious he had someone who was helping heal him in some way. Jay was okay with it; he wanted his partner back. Our family had become used to the ideal of sharing, especially when times were hard. I enjoyed sex with my husbands, but I was hurting, they weren't able to heal me. I allowed them to control my relationship with Karly towards the end, knowing I should have ended things when I wanted too. They seen it as part of the job, but what about my heart? I still loved her, I still hurt. Yoongi and I both felt the loss of a lover, he had someone to help him through his grief, and I felt alone.

"Babe, are you sure you are okay with staying at you fathers house for the week?" Changkyun sat on the couch, kissing my hand.

"Yes, I am sure. I know none of you want me alone, I know that there is mess that needs cleaned up, I'm not ready to work. I am not healed, so staying in my old room might help." Dohwan bent down on his knees, kissing my cheek.

"We want you to do what you feel you need to do to heal." Namjoon smiled warmly agreeing with Dohwans statement.

"I don't know what that is, or what that means." I sighed looking down, my spouses felt guilty they should feel bad, I was able to let Karly go before marking her, but after the marking I took my claim on her seriously.

"You will find it baby." Changkyun gently kissed my lips.

"All of you please be careful, Changkyun, Namjoon don't do anything stupid. Dohwan if you go along with Jimin's charm...I will find you and hurt you." They all laughed, assuring me everything would be fine.

My father's house was full of children, Joy instructed each nanny to a station, while she organized all of the kids' events for the week. I offered to help but Joy insisted I relaxed for the remainder of my stay. Jungkook and Tae had placed an entire wing for the children, leaving us the rest of the property.