Dear Traitor

Section Eleven

One night at your house, I cried myself to sleep. Then, when I woke up, I cried at the sight of the familiar popcorn ceiling. I cried so much that it hurt. I could not breathe. It was as if my throat were closing in. My head was spinning. My entire body ached, and all I did was wake up. Another day felt like another curse rather than a blessing.

Another time, I was sobbing uncontrollably after you gave me a lecture. You ordered me to come eat, but I said through tears that I was not hungry. You then glared at me like I was stupid, yelling that you did not care. You had also given me a spanking. Why? I cannot remember. I wished I did remember, but it was not like I was caught smoking or drinking. I probably forgot to bow down when Portia entered the room. All I recall was being forced to eat at the table with the entire family while choking on tears. You purposefully humiliated me without a care. In my bedroom where you yelled at me, you stared at me with an intense anger. At the dinner table, that expression faded from your face.

Side note: You, Portia, Hope, Portia's oldest daughter, and the daughter's husband were there. She was also the same daughter who claimed she never heard you raise your voice. That is a complete lie, for that house was one story, super small, and the walls were rather thin. On that day, you even claimed everyone heard you spank me and scream at me. So why lie?