Dear Traitor

Section Twelve

By the time I was thirteen, I no longer recognized you. I did not know who you were, and I cannot say I even know you today. I wish I could write a letter to the father I once knew, but I am afraid he has been buried within you and forgotten. Except, I also fear you have always been this way. I cannot say I have many memories of you during my childhood. Most of them consists of you sitting in your black rocking chair while you turned up the volume on the tv in order to block out the noise of me and Hope's childlike giggling.

Years go on, and the mental and emotional torture never ceased. Once, you had yelled at me with a phrase similar to this.

"You always go around telling your friends that I have anger issues. Well, you're the reason for my anger issues."

Well, for one, you proved my point with that very statement. Two, at least you were honest.

I had never done this before for obvious reasons, but I confronted you about it. You always complained that I was terrible at communication, but it was literally impossible to communicate with you. It did nothing. You denied it. You told me you did not say it, but I know good and well you did. You know it too, but you still chose to gaslight me.

This is the sickening part about all of this. In your made up and messed up world, none of this happened. In your delusional mind, you have never done me wrong. You have lied so much that it has become the truth in your mind. However, denying or forgetting something does not make it any less real. Why is taking accountability so hard for you to do? Oh wait, I know. Your pride prevents you from doing so.

The fact is you can deny everything you have ever done wrong, but the truth always stands. It is quiet at first, but eventually it will make itself known. It will come out either in this lifetime or the next. Just because you refuse to remember does not mean it did not happen. The heart is a deceiver, and yours has become as hard as stone. You cannot be right forever, for God is a God of truth. The whole world may be on your side, but I can rest in knowing that He knows. He was there during all of the hell you put me through. We will all give an account one day.

I would like to see you try to deny everything in front of the Lord.