dnf smut & oneshots

☆ it's all so incredibly loud

words: 953
description: dream has a busy day and he goes into a sensory shutdown.
warnings: dissociation, non-verbal, medication, overstimulation.

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dreams pov:

god today has been such a long day, waking up at 6am to meet karl and sap for breakfast, having them both come over to film a challenge video with george and i, then spending the rest of the afternoon streaming and editing. i switched my computer off and went downstairs to the living room, planning on watching a movie.

"hey clay," i hear george walk into the room and sit on the couch next to me. "what you watching?" i stared blankly at the tv, my mind too busy from the day to think of a response.

"h-huh? oh, hi babe," i manage to get out, still not taking my eyes off the empty screen in-front of me. i'd been in such a rush all day that i realised i forgot to take my adhd meds, causing me to suddenly feel very overwhelmed at all the lights and sounds echoing in the room. george moves closer to me, causing me to jump slightly. i love him sitting with me and being close, but for some reason i just felt so overstimulated at his touch.

"clay?" he says, noticing that my mind was in a different place. "what's wrong?" the lights are so bright, i can feel my heartbeat in my chest, i can feel the sleeves of my shirt on my arms, the seams of my socks feeling like razor blades on my feet. i feel myself go nonverbal, something that only ever happens if i'm masking for a long time without my meds.

the smaller boy moves himself closer again, resting his hand on my thigh and attempting to have a conversation with me. i feel tears well in my eyes, threatening to fall. i hate being like this, i just wish i could have a normal fucking brain. i let the tears fall, finally getting pushed over the edge from stimulation. i tear my shirt off along with my socks, covering my ears and tightly shutting my eyes. i feel george get up from off the couch, my heart rattling in my chest at the thought of him thinking that maybe he was the one that caused my meltdown.

"i-i, g-" i can't even get the words out, i'm physically unable to speak. he comes back over to me, sitting on the floor in-front of me with a notepad and pen.

"write what you wanna say clay, you don't have to speak, just write." he gives me a warm smile, handing me the paper and pen before getting up to grab my noise cancelling headphones. i put the headphones on and grab the pen.

'i'm sorry george, this isn't your fault, it's mine'

he looks up at me, writing a message back on the paper.

'i know my love, it's been a busy day today. you're allowed to feel overwhelmed.'

'i can't even speak, the words won't come out my mouth. i feel fucking stupid.'

'you're not stupid clay, i understand. did you take your meds this morning?'

'i think i forgot, i don't remember taking them.'

'alright, can you tell me what's making you feel like this?'

i grab onto his hand, fighting the over stimulation.

'well, we were out all day, and i've been trying to get everything done, i didn't realise i've been masking all day. the lights are too bright, every noise i hear sounds like a hammer against my skull. i can feel my clothes on my body and i just can't handle it.'

i take off my headphones, testing my limits. slightly wincing as the echoes of the room fill my ears. george gives me a reassuring look, he sits back on the couch, still keeping his distance from me.

"take your time, i love you." he lifts up my hand and presses a small kiss to the back of it.

"i-i l-love y-you." i manage to get out, kinda impressed that i'd been able to form a sentence at all. "t-thank y-you."

"you don't need to thank me, what kind of boyfriend would i be if i couldn't help you through a dissociative episode," i let out a small laugh, pulling him closer to me. "clay?"

"i'm f-feeling a bit better, i-i, i still f-feel a bit on edge b-but, it's b-better." i reach over and grab a water bottle from off the table, chugging it and throwing it on the floor.

"don't push yourself too hard, take it slow babe," he throws his shirt off before leaning against my chest, being careful to not let any fabric touch me. "you're safe here."

i close my eyes, letting out a low hum as his warm little body presses into mine. i reach over to grab the remote for the lights from the side table, dimming them until my eyes stopped hurting. george opened his phone, clicking on uber eats.

"i figured it would be easier to order dinner in," he passes the phone to me, leaning his head on my chest. "order whatever you feel like, i'll pay for a change." he lets out a laugh, the sound is what i imagine a chorus of angels would be like. i order some korean bbq for both of us and put the phone down, admiring the small boy on me.

"t-thank you for being so understanding george, what would i do without you." i tilt his chin up to plant a small kiss on his soft, pink lips. i honestly couldn't imagine my life without him.