Alluring - JJ Maybank Fanfic

Poguelandia: Week One

"My dad had this quote from Euripides." I tell everyone while looking around the circle, their faces lit up by the fire, "He'd say, 'The ocean washes away all the evil men do.'" I sigh, "But I'm not sure that's true. I don't think the ocean washes away anything." I ignore the concerned looks around me, the same looks I get every time I talk now, ever since we got here they look at me weird, like something is wrong, "If anything, the ocean makes you remember."

"In what context do you mean by evil? In your life, I mean," Pope asks, "are we talking moral, physical or metaphysical?"

"I'm not referring to existing or like things being left to chance, so not metaphysical evil in a sense," I look out over the dark waves, "In my case, the things that I want to wash away," I pause, thinking about my answer, "moral and physical evil. The fact that my free will was taken from me so many times and the suffering I endured because people can't distinguish what's right or wrong, those evils hang over my head."

Pope nods, "The ocean cant wash away things from your mind, Willow. I think the quote is referring to purification, because a lot of cultures believe the sea is powerful enough to wash away things that are morally contaminating or dangerous. There's people who also believe the ocean life balances things on land, making them pure."

"Is that why people drown themselves?" I ask before I can stop myself, "Like they think if they chose to die in the ocean, then it'll purify their actions?"

"I, uh, I don't know," Pope stammers, "I don't think that's a question that's been answered, since people in that position are probably.. dead."

"Think about it, from the very beginning of all of this, it was always Kooks and Pogues. Some people with everything, and some with nothing. That's the way it's always been. And that's how they wanna keep it. The Merchant gold was a part of that. For my father and me and John B, the treasure was our way out." I give my brother a sad smile, "How we evened the scales. How the Pogues win. But at some point... you kind of have to wonder... was the treasure an escape? Or was it a trap? Maybe it's something evil, you know?" I look around at my friends, "Why was I thrown in the middle, and the voice in my head that seems to be connected to it all, it's gotta be evil, right? Why did ward want to frame me for everything? Why did he use me? Why did Rafe hurt me?"

"Brookie," Sarah softly says, "we've talked about this. Ward would do anything to get his hands on the gold, you happened to be the easy target."

"Yeah but why?" I ask again, "Why would he do what he did? Even after he had the gold, he still wanted me killed. He wanted it to look like I killed myself."

She sighs, "He said something while John B was fighting him," She ignores my brother shaking his head at her, "he said that you were the reason that he lost me and Rafe."

"How am I the reason?"

"He thinks you turned me against him and that you made Rafe who he is, as if it's your fault he went psycho."

"Oh." I look down at my shaky hands, "I mean its true, right?"

"No, baby, it's not true." JJ kisses my shoulder, "Rafe is responsible for his actions."

"He went crazy over me," I argue, "I am the reason he did what he did." 

"Stop it, Princess, it's not your fault." His voice goes stern, I look away and shake my head, "No seriously, you've been so hung up on Rafe, its always about him--"

"JJ. Don't." Pope warns.

"I'm sorry." I mutter, wiping the tears that ran down my face, "I won't bring him up again."