out of the blue | george clarkey

14; fear of flying

it has been a few days since my writing session and it was getting harder to get time alone with george. we settled for quick kisses when alex was grabbing something from his room or quick catch ups whilst he was in the shower but i had genuinely missed spending time with george.
however, tonight we were leaving for the airport to head to south africa and alex wasn't coming.

we head to the airport and suddenly my nerves kick in. i was an anxious flyer, always has been and always will be. thankfully grace was in the same boat and had even offered me some of her xanax which i wanted to take but george advised me i shouldn't be taking prescription drugs that weren't prescribed to me. "you're just gonna have to deal with me crying the whole flight then" i tell him. "who says i'm sitting next to you?" he says and i frown at him.
grace and i walk off into the nearest boots to grab some snacks and a meal deal. i also end up stocking up on some toiletries i had probably forgotten. we pay and make our way back to the rest of the group and our gate was finally open. i walk with george and he can see i'm struggling to pull my suitcase along as my hands are shaking. "are you actually that nervous?" he laughs. "yes! it's not funny" i say whilst laughing which doesn't help to convey my message.
we walk onto the plane and i end up sitting in a row with grace and george. "who put me with the two nervous flyers?" george laughs looking around at everyone else. max, andrew and maddie grace jepson were sat in the aisle across from us and kate elisabeth, anastasia and monty were behind. along with some influencers jotted elsewhere around the plane.

i look to my left and grace is getting her sleeping mask out and she looks at me, "i'm getting the sleeping pills out, i ain't being awake for take off" she says washing them down with a vodka cranberry and i'm thinking it's not the best idea but it does work as soon enough she is fast asleep and she does in fact miss the whole of take off.

i spent the whole of take off, squeezing george's hand and to try help take my mind off it george challenged me to see how hard i could squeeze it. giving me words of encouragement, "is that it?" "you can definitely squeeze me harder than that" "come on". about half way through i got too scared and george stopped and was rubbing his thumb across my hand. "do you want to try the breathing exercises on my watch?" he asks innocently. in that moment, i knew a breathing exercise probably wouldn't help that much but i really appreciated how much he was trying to help so i took his offer anyways. he loaded it up on his watch and he did it with me and to my surprise it actually did work, more so as a distraction than an technique but before i knew it we were floating around in the sky and take off was over. "thank you" i whisper to george. "that's alright" he affectionately ruffles my hair, taking me back to one of the first times we met and i smile, still not letting go of his hand.
i ended up trying to go to sleep, sat in my seat, i was moving around and huffing and puffing as i couldn't get comfortable. "lean here" george says and taps his shoulder signalling that i rest my head there. i do as he says and lean on him and it's much more comfortable than sitting up but i still don't end up falling asleep. "do you know what helps me fall asleep?" george asks me and i look up at him, "listening to this crap, so boring" he laughs and i look down at his phone and turns out he's playing my music in his headphones. i sit up and form an O with my mouth in shock at him. "piss off" i nudge him.  "wait until you hear the ones about you" i joke. "there's song about me?" george asks. "maybe" i blush and push my head back into his shoulder and i eventually end up falling asleep.

i'm woken up to the sound of max's voice close to my face. "look at the love birds!" he laughs and i open my eyes to his phone camera on us. "jesus max" i laugh and cover his camera with my hand to hide my roughness. george had fallen asleep but the seatbelt sign came on for landing so i had to wake him. he wasn't very happy to be woken up but is anyone ever? i decide not to wake grace up just yet as she had her seatbelt on already and i knew she wouldn't enjoy landing. i also make a mental note to ask her for the brand of sleeping tablets she's on because how she's managed to sleep the whole 11 hour flight, i do not know.

landing wasn't too bad, apart from when we hit the floor and i squeezed george's hand maybe a bit too tight. but it was official we had touched down in south africa!

we arrived at our villa for the next few days and it was insane. it was big and beautiful. so big that we had all been given our own individual rooms. my room was connected to grace's but we had our own bedrooms, just a shared bathroom a corridor away. "what on earth, this is insane" she said and i agreed. we filmed a room tour for her tiktok and then sat down on my bed. "so i have to ask, you and george? no one wants to mention it but fuck it, i will" she says. "oh godddd" i put my head in my hands. "listen, we're not official but like we're something. i don't know!" i say unsure of how to explain it. "i get it, a little something something." she laughs, "do you like him?" she asks, raising her eyebrows. "yeahh, maybe. i think so. no yeah i do" i say not wanting to admit it, "but you can't tell the others! please don't tell anyone else" i insist. "my lips are sealed, unless i have too much to drink but i'll try keep it a secret" she laughs and we leave our room to meet the others.