BE MY OBSESSION

CHAPTER 31

•SHELBY•

Last night, sleep eluded me. No matter how much I tossed and turned, or tried to distract myself, rest remained elusive. The temptation to reach for sleeping pills lingered, desperate to find solace in the embrace of darkness. Though I kept them on hand for emergencies, something held me back from taking them.

The scene from the bathroom replayed relentlessly in my mind, and his image refused to leave. I was furious with myself for letting him kiss me, and for the inability to erase it from my thoughts. He had invaded my mind completely.

That gentle kiss had the power to erase all my reasons for hating him. As I lay there, giving up on sleep, I found myself contemplating my feelings for him. Despite the anger and animosity that had defined our interactions, living in the same house had gradually eroded my hatred without my realizing it.

It was as if the hatred had vanished, leaving me confused and uncertain. I couldn't summon those negative feelings even if I tried. Now, I was faced with an emotional whirlwind, developing feelings for him once again, and the fake engagement was blurring the lines between reality and pretense, leaving me apprehensive.

In the morning, fully dressed for work, I didn't feel like seeing him. The situation felt surreal, and I decided to avoid him until I figured out what to do next.

Arriving at the office, I took a discreet route to the underground parking lot. But I knew this was just the beginning; I'd still have to endure working with him for another month due to the merger. Keeping up the pretense was essential for the company's reputation, though it meant confronting my own emotions.

Upon entering the lobby, there he stood, leaning against the reception counter, engrossed in his phone. I hadn't anticipated his presence so early, and panic surged within me. There was no way to avoid passing him; the elevator to our office was right behind him.

As if sensing my discomfort, he looked up, and our eyes locked. He walked towards me with an amused expression, leaving me with no escape.

"Why are you trying to avoid me?" he asked straightforwardly, and my heart raced.

"Why would you think I was avoiding you?" I tried to feign indifference.

"I literally saw you running out of the house this morning. It's obvious that you don't want to see or talk to me," he said, his observation piercing through my facade.

I scoffed, feeling my irritation rising. 

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I'm just trying to make it to work early?"

He crossed his arms, muscles flexing beneath his dress shirt, and observed me intently. 

"I know you're always on time, but never this early. So what's up?"

"What do you mean, 'what's up'?"

He offered me a choice, "Do you want to handle this maturely, like two adults, or do you prefer pretending nothing happened? Your call."

I bit my cheek, realizing why I had been trying to avoid him. He could always get under my skin, even if I didn't hate him anymore. But I needed to stay calm and composed today.

"Let's talk at home. I don't want to discuss this here," I suggested with a soft voice before heading towards the elevator.

Suddenly, he gripped my wrist firmly, turned me around, and pressed me against his chest. My heart pounded as his cold gaze met mine. His proximity always unsettled me, making coherent thoughts difficult.

He smiled, and confusion engulfed me. Unexpectedly, he kissed me, and shock rendered me motionless. 

What was he doing? Was this really necessary all the time? I wished he had at least warned me.

Breaking the kiss, he leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Don't look too surprised. Paparazzi is watching."

My eyes darted towards the entrance where photographers loitered with cameras at the ready. I had approached from the other direction, so I hadn't noticed them.

Realization struck, and I swallowed my disappointment. I shouldn't have expected anything more; everything was part of the act for our fake engagement.

As the days passed, I found myself getting more tangled in emotions. His words and actions sometimes suggested honesty and affection, but at other times, he seemed to revert to his womanizing ways.

I resolved to use this one-month period to sort out my feelings, hoping that he would do the same. If he could come to the same conclusion as I did, then maybe we could find something real amidst the pretense.