𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐦 || Blue Lock x GN!Reader

✮ 3.

 (Y/N) blinked at Oliver, too exhausted to even be mad. It was like their thoughts were a swirling pool of bad memories and mixed emotions. On one hand, their father popped up at even a slight thought of soccer, but at the same time, it'd felt so... familiar to play again.

Perhaps a hint of their childhood self was still buried deep under the rubble of emotional damage inside them, still sprouting the hope that they loved soccer. Pushed hither and thither by an oxymoron of thoughts, (Y/N) wasn't sure whether they wanted to stay as far away from the field as possible or score one last goal.

"(N/N)..." Oliver started, sounding guilty, "Are you alright?"

"I'm... fine." (Y/N) looked away as they said it, knowing it was a lie and wondering if they'd ever been less alright. Having known them for quite a bit, Oliver could sense the obvious untruth from a mile away.

"No you're not," he contradicted, before pausing, looking away as well, "I'm so sorry, I never should've asked you to come. I was being selfish and I didn't think how this might affect you." (Y/N) knew from a glance that Oliver was being fully honest here and they were glad of it.

"Look, I won't pretend that wasn't a dick move," they admitted, still trying to untangle their feelings on the matter, "but I think you might've helped me realize something..."

Looking through the back of their mind, (Y/N) picked up on a small and feeble voice, screaming at them to play again, to shoot that shot or to make that play. If they were honest about themselves, they never hated soccer at all. It was more they hated the traumatic memories they had attached to it, but if they could just rekindle that joy, that happiness they once had, would everything go back to how it was before the incident?

"I think... I might want to keep playing... or at least try," (Y/N) said, their voice barely above a whisper, "at least, until I figure out my stance on the sport."

"Are you nuts?" Oliver exclaimed, a mixture of shock and fear on his face, "Did you even see yourself play? You looked dead! Plus, what about just now?" He gestured towards the bathroom stall, making (Y/N)'s stomach flip in discomfort.

"I know, I know," they sighed, thinking back to how awful everything had felt, "but I think that some part of me still wants to play... and I just want to feel the thrill of enjoying the sport again, even if I have to endure this pain a hundred times over."

If Oliver could look even more disbelieving than he already was, he did. His face scrunched up in absolute shock for a couple seconds before he shook his head slowly, his gaze never leaving the determined player in front of him.

"You're... sure about this?" he asked tentatively, half hoping (Y/N) might say no, but of course, he wasn't so lucky.

"...I think so." (Y/N) replied, shuffling their feet awkwardly, "Um, unless you don't want me to join..." They looked away, wanting Oliver to encourage them while their determination hadn't withered.

"No, no, gods no," the captain almost chuckled as he shot down their statement instantly, "You literally have no idea how long I've waited for you to say yes, but I'm just a bit worried about you especially considering your past-"

Oliver didn't have the chance to finish before the door to the gender-neutral bathroom burst open, revealing the figures of the U-20 starting lineup, practically climbing over each other as they forced their way inside. (Y/N) couldn't even gasp in surprise before Sendou wrapped his arms around them in a bone-crushing hug.

"(N/N)! (N/N)! You got in!" Sendou exclaimed, jumping up and down as (Y/N) struggled to breathe. Confusedly, they glanced at Oliver who was putting two and two together. In the background, Niou and Kitsunezato cheered madly, voices full of unbridled joy.