sanyiah
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today was ahmad's first day of middle school and once again, it was very bittersweet.
he was still running with his same lil crew and isis
i was pregnant with me and isaiah's second child and i was excited
"ahmad stay outta trouble okay?" i said
"i don't look for trouble, trouble finds me."
"boy get yo ass to that bus stop"
he laughed then began walking out the door
"love you ma, love you dad"
"love you too"
he was just saying mommy and clapping when he got fruit on his high chair now he's in middle school.
i'm going cry, he's growing up.
"sanyiah don't start crying, he's gonna be okay."
"no he not. he's a babyyyy"
"he is 11 years old, he is not a baby no more."
my first born is getting oldddd
i just walked upstairs, fuck what isaiah was saying to me right now
he followed behind me
"you not finna act like this right now. talk to me. you been so good with communicating so why you shutting me out right now?"
"because you just say "oh he's growing up you'll be okay"
"because he is sanyiah, what else do you want me to do about that?"
"TAKE THE TIME TO REALIZE HE ISN'T A BABY ANYMORE ISAIAH."
"i have, i've accepted it. he's not that same kid running around calling out for his dada when he just wanted some cuddles."
"11 years flew by in the blink of an eye. you gotta face it sooner or later sanyiah."
"i can't. he's my baby. my first born. he was just learning how to walk and talk. now he's round here playing basketball with his dad."
"i miss him being so small, so harmless."
"and that's okay but you can't just force yourself to believe that he won't ever grow up."
"you shoulda been a therapist, i hate you"
"you don't hate me"
"i don't"
isaiah became a lawyer and i took my moms advice and went into real estate
we were pretty successful but we still stayed in the house i grew up in
i wasn't ready to let it go.. i missed my mama
i made sure ahmad knew about his grandma
isaiah was heading off to work and i was home
