i want to know if you ever think of me.
i guess what bugs me is the thought that you mattered more to me than i did to you.
i like reciprocity and it's hurtful to think i was lead on or deceived by the idea that you liked me at all.
but was it even real? did you actually like me?
you had to have, even up until the end. you just liked safety better. felt happier in the arms of your anxiety than in mine. it still hurts, though. even though it's been eight months. well, really only three since we last saw each other. but eight since you broke up with me.
i'm very adamant on making it clear that you broke up with me, because i never wanted a breakup. that was all you.
i want to know if you still think of me. because if you do, that's proof that i matter to you. and that, at least, feels good.
